Life after the Games
by RainingJellyDonuts
Summary: Life in district 12 for Katniss and Peeta.  Post Mockingjay Pre-Epilouge. It's from both Katniss and Peeta's perspectives, as in it switches off every other chapter.  Please R&R! Rated K.
1. Dandelions Never Leave

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter One-Dandelions Never Leave

_(Katniss)_

Peeta had only been home about four months. At first I only saw him when he came over for diner every night, but now he comes for breakfast and stays till I fell asleep. I wish he would stay longer, but every time I ask him to he has the same reasons for why he should go home. But still, I ask every night, without fail.

We were on our same routine, we ate diner, provided by Greasy Sae, and had then we moved to the couch, to spend hours talking and occasionally giggling at something that had been said. In these hours spent with Peeta, I feel almost whole again. By eleven, I doze off, leaning against his shoulders. I feel him scope me up and take me to bed. I am remotely aware of him pressing his lips to my forehead, but this gesture wakes me up enough to grab his hand while he turns to leave.

"Stay with me." I mumble while I sit up and rub my eyes.

"Katniss…"

"I trust you."

"But how? How do you know I won't hurt you? I need to go home Katniss. Goodnight."

"No, Peeta." I've had it with this excuse, I know it's for my own good but I hate being alone and I love the protection his arms provides. "It's because your afraid of hurting me that I know you won't. Please stay." The last part of my rebut sounds more like a plea or a wine and that's what gets him to give in and sit on the edge of my bed, kicking off his shoes.

"Only till you fall asleep."

I won't argue with that until the next time he says it.

"Good enough." I say as I get out from under the covers, and press my lips to his. I know that this gesture is still dangerous, but since we've been home he has only kissed me willingly once. I feel his warmth and surprisingly he feels steady, he even places one of his hands on my cheek. But I pull back because I know his nightmares must be raging. I lay my hand down on his laps and close my eyes. He starts to play with my hair and a few minutes later he lets out a sigh. But it isn't one of his usual sighs, which signal him fighting his nightmares; it's a sigh of happiness. I haven't heard it since our last night on the beach together in the quarter quell. I open my eyes and study his face, he seems happy and content. I reach up and brush his cheek with my hands, and he smiles. But then, he takes on a look of confusion and I feel a round of Real or Not Real coming. The game doesn't bug me, because I know it helps bring Peeta even closer back to me, but sometimes it brings up rough memories that remind me of everything I've lost.

"In the Hunger Games, you kissed me just for the cameras. Real or not real?" Peeta asks.

"Real." I guiltily force myself to say. "but mainly in the first hunger games, and even in that one I…it's hard to explain. In the second one, it wasn't really for the cameras, I mean I wanted to kiss you. I wanted you to kiss me…I..I..can't explain it. I did kiss you for the cameras but-"

"Katniss stop, your confusing me even more. We have shared kisses that meant something to you before I was hijacked, Real or not real?"

"Real." I say, remembering the two and smiling.

"Good. I remember them too. Well I'm starting to at least. Go to sleep Katniss." He says as he takes my hand in his.

As I close my eyes and grab his hand tighter, the image of the dandelion appears in my mind. And I feel hope, hope for the future, and hope for Peeta. It is still sagged down by the memories of the games and Prim and all the people that I've lost, but the dandelion is bright and prominent, and I am holding on to it.

_Thanks for reading! Please Review! The Next chapter will be this exact thing from Peeta's prospective. I love The Hunger Games, so please tell me if you think something isn't true to the characters. Happy New Year!_


	2. Caught in the Middle

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter 2- Caught in the middle

_(Peeta)_

Katniss fell asleep curled up on my shoulders, so I scooped her up into my arms and carried her upstairs. I could tell she was half awake, but sleep was slowly taking over. I put her down on the bed and kissed her forehead. I could do this now without nightmares rushing, it was a sure sign that someday I would know everything that is true apart from everything that is false. But as for right now, I was caught in the middle. I turned to leave hoping that Katniss wouldn't ask me to stay with her, I hated to say no, but when I started to slip into sleep I couldn't control my thoughts as well. As always she snatched my hand with hers before I could fully turn around.

"Stay with me." She asked as she sat up.

"Katniss…" I didn't want to have this conversation again.

"I trust you."

"But how? How do you know I won't hurt you? I need to go home Katniss. Goodnight."

"No Peeta. It's because your afraid of hurting me that I know you won't. Please stay."

My shoulders sag in defeat and I walk over and sit on the edge of her bed.

"Only till you fall asleep."

"Good enough."

It's obvious that she isn't entirely happy with me. But I'd rather have her upset with me than dead. Then just as I think she is going to settle into bed and fall asleep she does the opposite. Katniss gets out form under the covers and presses her lips to mine. I tighten my fists bracing myself for the nightmares, but instead nothing comes besides pleasure and warmth. I lift my hand up and graze her cheek just before she pulls away and puts her head in my lap. I smile, and play with her hair for a few minutes. I think through all the happy memories with Katniss I have restored to their original context, and sigh when I think about the time we discussed our favorite colors. She opens her eyes and we kind of just look at each other, she presses her hand to my face it feels warm and I smile a little bit more. That's when I get tired, and distorted thoughts run though my head. I get confused, memories of Katniss and I in the first and second hunger games swarm into my head.

"In the Hunger Games, you kissed me just for the cameras. Real or not real?" I ask

"Real, but mainly in the first hunger games, and even in that one I…it's hard to explain. In the second one, it wasn't really for the cameras; I mean I wanted to kiss you. I wanted you to kiss me…I..I..can't explain it. I did kiss you for the cameras but-"

"Stop Katniss, you're confusing me even more." But I almost feel like I understand what she's saying, if I remembering the right thing, then there were two maybe only one, where she acted differently. So I ask,

"We have shared kisses that meant something to you before I was hijacked, real or not real?"

"Real." She said as she gave one of her little half smiles. She hasn't fully smiled for a long, long time. I doubt she will anytime soon, but maybe someday.

"Good. I remember them too. Well I'm starting to at least. Go to sleep Katniss."

I take her hand in mine and she grips even tighter. After a few minutes she drifts into sleep, and I readjust her back to being under the covers and I walk downstairs. But I don't go home; I fall asleep on the couch that night.

_Thanks for reading! Please leave a review; I would love to hear what you thought! The next chapter will be up soon. Sorry if there is any grammar or spelling mistakes! Happy New Year! _


	3. The Book

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter 3- The Book

_(Katniss)_

I woke up the next morning to a huge pain enveloping my body. It was the worst in my throat and chest. I lay still but open my eyes. Peeta isn't there; he must've gone home. I lay in the bed for a long time, trying to force the pain away. But I can't. I can't get out of bed because I can't allow myself to enjoy anything, if I do it will just disappear. It will leave just like Prim, and my father, and Rue, and Gale, and Finnick did. I start to hum to myself, I hum the song I sang to Rue as she died, and then I hum Hanging Tree. By the second verse of "Hanging Tree" I have the strength to get up and take a shower. By ten o'clock I walk downstairs still humming, when I get to the kitchen I see Peeta and he looks up and smiles at me.

"I made some muffins, they're on the table."

"Thank you." I say and return to my humming. I sit down at the table and take a muffin, it's still warm, and I still hum in between bites. After a few minutes Peeta comes and sits beside me.

"You should go hunting today, it feels good outside." He tells me

I nod my head in agreement; the woods have always been my place of safety, they are where I feel most myself. After I finish two more muffins, I head upstairs to get ready to hunt. However when I open up my closet I notice the smallness and the safety it provides. I close the door and curl up in the corner. I start singing softly, just like I did when I was held in my training center room after I killed Coin.

I open my eyes, and realize I had fallen asleep; I sit up and notice my cheeks are wet. I must have been crying in my sleep. I don't remember any dreams. How long have I been in here?

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I was in the Hunger Games twice. I escaped. Peeta was hijacked. He is coming back to me. I live in district 12. Prim is dead. My mom can't come back here. Gale is in two. Why am I doing this? I'm not supposed to be disoriented anymore. This only brings up bad memories. _I kick myself out of it and think about lighter things, like the fact that I need to get up and walk downstairs, maybe I should still go hunting. It takes me a minute but I finally get my lazy butt out of the closet. Peeta is still there, sitting on the couch.

"Did you fall asleep?"

"Yeah. In the closet…"

He stands up and holds out his arms to me, I don't hesitate to run into them. I bury my head in his shoulder and he wraps around me. He holds me like he used to, before he was hijacked. We stand there for a few minutes and then he settles me on the couch and hurries into the kitchen, returning only a few minutes later with some warm milk. I feel stronger and more secure with Peeta beside me, he provides a protection that no one else can, not even the closet.

"Haymitch told me when you were in 13 and even when we were in Snow's mansion you would sneak around and hide is closets and small places all day. Is that what you were doing today?"

"Yes." I tell him truthfully, hoping it doesn't hurt his feelings that seeked out a room for comfort when he was sitting in my house, but instead he lets a sigh of understanding escape from his lips and says,

"I miss them too."

I press my head into his chest to try and block the tears and he tightens his grip on me.

"Peeta?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember them really well, like Prim and Finnick? Do you remember my Prim?"

"Yes. They didn't really distort my memories of anyone but you. I can think of them all I want and no nightmares come."

"Good. Now I have to tell you something."

And so I do, I tell him all about the book I want to write, about how I want to write down everything about Prim and my father and Peeta and Gale. I ask him to draw in it and he agrees instantly. I had thought about it a lot after Peeta returned before we started spending a lot of time together, but I had forgotten about it until he told me he missed them too. This book might help Peeta just as much as it will help me. We talk a little bit longer about the book and exactly what we will do with it. It makes me feel a little better than I did this morning.

Around 8 pm, Greasy Sae walks in with some soup for us.

"Hello Katniss, Peeta."

"Thank you so much for the soup, again." I say wrapping my arms around her; she hugs back a bit surprised by my random gesture. "You really don't have to do that every night. We can cook."

"Oh, its not problem dear. I always have extra. It's the least I can do after all those years your supplied me with those wild dogs." She says with a wink.

I make a mental note to write down everything about Greasy Sae in the book. Her smell, and her soup, and her laugh, I want to remember them all. She leaves and Peeta and I happily eat our soup. I continue humming through diner, but Peeta doesn't seem to mind it. After we eat, I tell him about how I wanted Greasy Sae in the book, and he suggests we put her granddaughter who occasionally visits us in the book as well. I agree. I start to get tired and so we walk up stairs.

"I sleep a lot lately, don't I?" I ask.

"You do. But that's okay, you deserve lots rest."

"But so do you, Peeta. Why don't you sleep as much as I do?"

"I don't like going to sleep. I can't control my thoughts."

"Oh." I say, thinking about how hard that must be. Every time he lets his mind rest cruel and vicious capitol thoughts take over his brain. I would hate that. I probably would avoid sleep too.

"It's fine, I'm fine. You should sleep Katniss."

I climb into bed, and he kisses me on the forehead again, and I grab his hands as he turns to leave.

"Don't leave Peeta."

"Fine. I'll stay till you go to sleep."

"No, stay all night. I don't like it when your not here." I really did want him there when I wake up, I didn't want to go through this morning again.

"No Katniss, I can't. I told you I can't control my thoughts when I sleep." Peeta says as he sits down next to me.

"Fine." I groan. "But at least lay down this time."

"Katniss, I might fall asleep…that's to risky."

"Please Peeta?" I ask, thinking that maybe, just maybe his arms wrapped around me before I fall asleep will ward off the nightmares of the night.

He agrees and I easily fall asleep with his warmth consuming me. My nightmares that night were not as bad as usual. I guess it was because that was the first time since the Quarter Quell when I have fallen asleep with Peeta beside me.


	4. Grief and Guilt

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter 4-Grief and Guilt

_(Peeta)_

I woke up on the couch, my back sore from sleeping on it wrong but I get up and walk around the house stretching it a little. Last night was easier, I was able to shake myself out of believing Katniss tried to kill me at the cornucopia in the first games we were in, even though I was half asleep. But I had nightmares, horrible ones, like the ones I used to have before the Quarter Quell. In these horrific dreams, I would be forced to watch every single person I loved die, painful deaths, and then at the end of the nightmare Katniss would slowly approach me and tell me how much she despised me, then she would pull her bow back, ready to shoot causing me to wake up. So to keep myself from dwelling on that, I bake. This morning I am going to make blueberry muffins. After the first batch is done I see Katniss strolling down the stairs. She is humming, I recognize the tune, and she has hummed it before, maybe in her sleep or something. She looks at me, but she seems dazed, like she's somewhere else. But still, I smile, I can't help it.

"I made some muffins, they're on the table."

"Thank you." She says reaching for one.

"You should go hunting today, it feels good outside." I tell her, knowing that maybe she can sort out whatever she's thinking about, plus its spring and that's her favorite time to hunt. She simply nods, telling me that she will, and continues on to eat two more muffins and I bake a few more batches. She gets up and walks upstairs, humming all the way. However after a few minutes the humming stops, and I hear that she has actually started singing, ever so softly, and I wouldn't have been able to hear if I wasn't being very still and I notice that all the birds have stopped to listen. It only lasts a minute or so, then ceases and I know that she has probably fallen asleep. I want to go for a walk around town, maybe go buy some of the stuff I need to make cookies, but I won't leave Katniss in case she wakes up or starts screaming. So I move around the house, cleaning things here and there, until I finally give up and sit on the couch. I don't like being to still, it gives my mind much more freedom than I'm comfortable with. So I decide to think over memories that the capitol didn't touch. I think about all my old friends at school, and the rare occasion I would have laughs with my brothers, and all the things my father said to me about baking and bread. They are happy memories, that give me a pleasant feeling, but it doesn't last long. As I dwell on all my memories of those I love, it sinks in.

They're all gone.

Most of my friends from school died in the bombing, along with my entire family. Tears stream down my face because I know it's my doing. All that had happened, all the loss and death, happened because of me. Most people blame Katniss for pulling out those berries, but I was going to do the same thing she was. If I had just made her kill me, or if I had killed myself, she would be living in district 12 with Prim and her mom, and she'd be in the woods with Gale everyday. She would be living the life she wanted to. Now my grief was accompanied by guilt, something I would have to live with forever. I sit in my thoughts for a long time, realizing I had been so preoccupied in fighting my nightmares; I hadn't really had a chance to think about all that happened lately. I let myself think of Katniss, trusting myself to explore deeper thoughts. I love her, always have, even through my hijacking I love her no less than I did in the quarter quell, it may sound corny but it's how I feel. I was just starting to think about the night when I gave her the pearl when she walked down stairs rubbing her eyes. She looked like she'd been sleeping, but her cheeks were red and blotchy with tears.

"Did you fall asleep?" I ask with concern.

"Yeah. In the closet…"

I stand up, wanting her to hold her in my arms. I know she's in pain, that awful pain that shocks you into deliriousness. She runs into me and buries her face in my chest, I hold on to her tight. After a few minutes, I gently sit her down on the couch so that I can fix her some warm milk, which was what she ordered when she was upset on the train before the Quarter Quell, so I'm guessing she thinks it comforting. I add honey and some spices like the attendant did. I walk back quickly and hand her the milk, which she takes gratefully. I think she likes it, because she smiles just the tiniest bit at its taste. But I want to find out why she went back to hiding in closets.

"Haymitch told me when you were in 13 and even when we were in Snow's mansion you would sneak around and hide is closets and small places all day. Is that what you were doing today?"

"Yes."

I understand her reasons so I simply tell her,

"I miss them too."

At this that breathy noise that she makes when she sobs escapes her mouth, and she wraps herself in my arms.

"Peeta?" she croaks.

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember them really well, like Prim and Finnick? Do you remember my Prim?"

"Yes. They didn't really distort my memories of anyone but you. I can think of them all I want and no nightmares come." I reassure her.

"Good. Now I have to tell you something."

She continues on to tell me about this book, she has obviously put a ton of thought into this. When she asks me to draw pictures for it, I agree without hesitation. The book is going to contain everything that ever made us happy, everything we want to remember. There will be pages dedicated to Prim, and Katnisses father, and my brothers and father, and Madge, and some of our or, I guess more of my, friends from school, and Gale. By around 8 pm, when Greasy Sae knocks, Katniss seems better than she did this morning.

"Hello Katniss, Peeta." She says. I nod hello.

"Thank you so much for the soup, again. You really don't have to do that every night. We can cook." Katniss tells her hugging Greasy Sae tightly.

"Oh, its not problem dear. I always have extra. It's the least I can do after all those years your supplied me with wild dogs." Greasy Sae winks and leaves without further discussion.

As we eat our soup, Katniss continues to hum, but I love the sound of it. Before I take her upstairs she tells me that she wants Greasy Sae in the book, I already thought she would be, so I suggest we put her granddaughter who visits us occasionally in the book too. Katniss then starts to doze off so I convince her to go upstairs before she passes out on the couch again.

"I sleep a lot lately, don't I?" she asks once she's tucked into bed.

"You do. But that's okay, you deserve lots rest."

"But so do you, Peeta. Why don't you sleep as much as I do?"

"I don't like going to sleep. I can't control my thoughts."

"Oh." She sighs, clearly thinking about something that is bothering her. She can't feel sorry for me, that's the last thing I want. She has enough pain already.

"It's fine, I'm fine. You should sleep Katniss."

I kiss her forehead and turn to leave, but, as always, she pulls me back.

"Don't leave Peeta."

"Fine. I'll stay till you go to sleep." I say, willingly enough.

"No, stay all night. I don't like it when your not here."

"No Katniss, I can't. I told you I can't control my thoughts when I sleep"

"Fine. But at least lay down this time."

"Katniss, I might fall asleep…that's to risky."

"Please Peeta?"

I give in, again, and crawl under the covers wrapping my arms around her. She feels so warm, she relaxes and her breathing becomes steady with sleep. I stay a few minutes, and no distorted memories come to me, none at all. I only leave so not to push me luck. That night I return to my house because I haven't showered in awhile and I can't smell good.

_Thank you for reading and pretty please, please leave a review! I'll try to have the next one up tonight! I don't have anything to do so I might just write all night. Thank you to the people who left reviews on my past few chapters they made my day and gave me loads of modivation. Love ya'll!_


	5. Passing By

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Five-Passing by.

_(Katniss)_

Everyday, for the next three months of my life, were exactly the same. I would wake up in the morning with the pain searing through my entire body, and slowly I would have to gain my strength to get out of bed by humming or thinking about the things I do have. I would proceed to go downstairs, eat breakfast, and then Peeta and I would begin our work. Some mornings we would talk about things we wanted in the book, sometimes he would draw people or places that corresponded with a particular memory and other times I would write things about people or a story. After that we would eat lunch, and a few days a week I would go hunting, but it was a different hunting than what I used to do. I mainly just go sit in the woods, to tired or to immersed in thought to kill anything. Usually I would use my time in the woods to think about Gale.

I missed Gale. I missed him having my back; I missed telling him everything. However, I don't think I could talk to Gale, little yet see him without thinking of watching my sister being turned to a torch. When I think of Gale, after all my happy memories run through my head, I can't help but think its his fault. My brave, wise, precious Prim is gone and though I know it wasn't him, and I know he loved Prim, and mourned her death as well, I will never be able to think of Gale without that horrible pain taking over.

After I came home from hunting Peeta and I would eat diner, which was more likely than not provided by Greasy Sae, who I have become ever so attached too. Mainly because she knew my old life, she knew the Hob, Gale, Darius, my father, and she knew the old Katniss, which is someone I have been dying to come into contact with. Yet I know that that is an unreasonable hope, the old Katniss died at the seventy-fourth hunger games reaping.

After diner Peeta and I would talk some more, occasionally work in the book again and then head off to bed. Peeta still wouldn't stay with me all night, but he would hold me until I fell asleep, which at least toned down the severity of my nightmares.

Peeta seemed better. He still avoided sleep, but he was usually steady during the day. Sometimes when we were working on the book, something would trigger a nightmare and he would have to grasp the back of the chair and wait for it to pass.

The games of "real or not real" where rare now, but still occurred with deeper things that were hard to talk about. Like one morning we were working on the book, so I was writing down some of the conversations Peeta and I had shared in the cave during the first hunger games and Peeta asked,

"You loved me before I was hijacked. Real or not real?"

I had to think for a long time, while he studied my face. I remember the last time he asked if I loved him, and I had said 'Everyone said I did.' It was true, but he needed an answer.

"Real. I've loved you since the day you gave me that burned bread. But it wasn't a romantic love."

I could tell he had another question itching in his mouth, and I could tell my answer wasn't enough for him, but he restrained himself, at least for today.

"Did we already write that story in the book? The one about the bread?" He asked me instead.

"Yes, it was one of the first stories in there. It was the story you drew your dandelion by."

_**Hi beautiful people, I'm horribly sorry it's so tiny, but I am sleepy and want to go to bed. This chapter was mainly me trying to show you how I think Katniss would see Gale, and to set up kind of a schedule, if that makes sense. There will be more action or story line later on. I will try to have the next chapter up by lunch-ish time tomorrow. Thank you for reading! Remember to pretty please review! Love you all.**_


	6. She loves me, she loves me not

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter six- She loves me, she loves me not.

_(Peeta)_

The next three months passed in a blink of an eye. The days seemed to run together forming one really long day. Every morning I would wake up and head over to Katnisses house, although sometimes I would have just slept on her couch. I spent my mornings baking, because it usually took Katniss a long time to get up.

I would bake muffins, and bread and occasionally a cake. Most likely Katniss would be downstairs by ten or so and we would eat something. Then we would get to work on the book, which was kind of the new point of our lives. The book rejuvenated us. It not only helped me sort out more memories, but it reminded us of purely good times, and nothing bad. I love drawing in the book, some of my favorites things are Prim's hair, Katnisses long braid, and the cave from our first arena. We would eat lunch after we worked on the book, and then it was time for the loneliest part of my day, because this was the time of day when Katniss would either take a nap or she would go out hunting. Both things would take her until early evening. I liked it better when she took a nap because I could hold her hand and watch her sleep, or even if I didn't she was still in the house with me. Yet, I know that hunting is good for her. Whenever she comes home she has a look of ease and sorrow on her face. I can only guess she thinks of Gale; the woods must feel different to her without him there. I don't really know what I think about Gale. I spent my entire life jealous of him. Jealous of how well he knew her and how much time her got to spend with her. There wasn't any reason to be jealous of him now, so I wasn't sure how to think of him. I respected him, in the sense of how he dedicated his life to protect his family, even though it was dangerous, and I owe him. I owe him my life, because there is no telling how many times he saved Katniss from death.

Anyway, Katniss rarely comes home with game but I know going to the woods, even if she just sits there, is good for her. Before diner, we talk or work on the book some more. Greasy Sae stops by to give us some soup most nights, and occasionally she brings her granddaughter who I have grown to be very found of.

Her name is Callie. She's only five years old, and she has short curly dirty blonde hair, and she is quite funny. I think I am so attached to her because, first of all, I love kids, and second she's so innocent. She will be raised in a world of no hunger games, raised where the people choose the leaders, she will grew up with food on the table. I like being around someone, even if they are still young, that has an abundant amount of love and hope. So I play with her, so to hear her perky laugh, and I give her cookies, to see that smile that is unscathed by pain or loss.

I take Katniss up to bed every night, and I lay down with her wrapped tightly in my arms until she falls asleep.

These three months have helped my distorted memories more than I can say. I can control them till the very second I fall asleep. But even then my nightmares of losing Katniss overweigh and are more frequent than my nightmares of Katniss being evil. The only thing that I don't know is something that I didn't know even before I was hijacked. I don't know if Katniss loves me. I know she would give her life for me in a blink of an eye, I even know she cares about me like she cares for her family but I don't know if she loves me. I want to ask her, but it's not something you can just blurt out to someone who has been through as much as she has. I don't want to put any more confusion in her life. Plus I'm scared of what she might say. What if she said no without hesitation, what would I do then?

However one morning, we were working in the book and she was writing down our conversations in the cave from the first hunger games. So I take my chances and at least ask her if she loved me before I was hijacked. This way I avoid all implications to how she feels about me now. She thinks for a long time, obviously running through everything in her head, trying to decide, she finally answers,

"Real. I've loved you since the day you gave me that burned bread. But it wasn't a romantic love."

I had more to ask, obviously, but I kept it back. I was very happy with her answer. It made me feel warm even though she did say 'not in a romantic way.' But maybe she did. She always has been scared of her feelings. I knew some of our kisses had meant something before, she told me that. So how knows? Katniss probably doesn't even really know. I'll save my questions for another time though.

"Did we already write that story in the book? The one about the bread?" I asked in order to change the subject.

"Yes, it was one of the first stories in there. It was the story you drew your dandelion by."

I don't know why she had me draw the dandelion; I just remember that she picked one the day after I gave her the bread.

_**Hey guys, thank you for reading! Remember to please review! Sorry these last few chapters are so short, just trying to set up and schedule and I wanted you to see how I think they'd feel about Gale. The next few chapters will be longer and have more of a story line to them. They might not be up in the today or tomorrow though. They might take me awhile. Anyway, love you all.**_


	7. Laughter, the Lake, and Lamb Stew

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Seven-Laughter, the Lake, and Lamb Stew.

_(Katniss)_

We were living the usual schedule, working on our book after breakfast. If I'm perfectly honest, I love the schedule. It keeps my mind off things, till I'm given my perfect opportunity to mull things over alone in the woods. Anyway, it was this morning that something new re-entered my life, laughter.

Peeta and I were working on the book and he was telling me a story about when he dropped a flour bag on the floor, and it exploded everywhere. All in his air and on his face, and he said that it touched every square inch of the room he was in. The thing that made it so funny was that he was trying to use hand gestures to explain the "explosion" and in that attempt he smeared his hands all over his face and through his hair. I was watching him and I guess the book has put me in a much better mood, so I started laughing.

I laughed like I hadn't laughed in years.

After the sound first escaped my mouth I slapped my hand to my face and my eyes widened in shock, I looked at Peeta like I had done something wrong and he took my hands off my face, a huge smile of surprise stretched across his face.

"No, no it's okay. You can laugh! You can laugh Katniss!"

His hair was a mess, and it sent a turn through my stomach and my heart rate sped up. I wasn't sure what that meant. But his smile, oh that smile, it was huge and showed every single one of his teeth. I hadn't seen it in so long, so I couldn't help it, I laughed again. I fell into his arms and laughed my head off, he held me and after a second he was laughing right along with me. After a minute when my laughing settled down he let me go and I leaned back in my chair.

"Okay one thing," he said with an exasperated sigh. "What was so funny?"

"Your face, your hair. Covered in flour." I chuckled again at remembering. "But what was really funny was the way you explained it with your hands." I said, laying his hair down with my hands. He laughed softly again, and locked his eyes with mine. I gazed into his blue eyes, once again seeing the dandelion form in my head, and that little bubble of hope moved around in my stomach again.

"Well, then that story most definitely has to go in the book, and we have to write down the details of your laugh. I've never heard anything like it."

Later that afternoon, I went hunting, but just as I was walking out the door Peeta grabbed my arm, turned me around, and placed a soft kiss on my lips. The hope tickled my insides again, and there was that other turn in my stomach again.

"See ya in a bit." He said and smiled with his lips.

I hugged him and was on my way.

I walked through town, and across the meadow; which was turning green again. I wondered how, because as far as I know, nobody has seeded it. I stopped at the fence, out of habit, and checked for the buzz, which of course, wasn't there. I think they are going to eventually take all the fences around the districts down, but they had more important things to do for now.

I decided to take the long trek to my father's lake. I hadn't been there in a while, plus I didn't want to go to the rock, I was tired of thinking about Gale. Once I reached the little house by the lake I thought of Bonnie and Twill. Two more people that died for me. I felt some more guilt, but I wondered if they maybe were still alive, living free in the woods. That'd be nice, they'd be safe, I knew it was unlikely, but I was trying to learn to have hope again. I sat by the lake for a long time, and mainly thought of my father. That great sorrow I'd felt for a long time was replaced by almost a thankfulness that he had been in my life, that I'd known him. Without him I would not know how to hunt, I would have been long dead, and even if I had made it, I would have never survived the hunger games. Also, his plant book is what gave me the idea for the memory book. For the next while my mind wondered around from happy memories to sad memories.

I had to lay down on the bank when I thought about Prim, it was still too much to handle.

Then I thought about Peeta. About the questions he asked me a few days ago. Did I love him before he was captured? Well of course. But was it romantic? There were those kisses, and the times I was so broken, so worthless when he was gone. I couldn't function. That had to be something deeper than me just caring about him like there was no tomorrow, of course at the time, tomorrow was a very uncertain thing.

I thought about the pearl. The one I still had in my pocket. I used to roll it over my lips when I missed Peeta. I took it from my pocket and held it in my hands, looking at its beauty. It reminded me of Finnick. I smiled remembering him swimming around like an idiot during the Quarter Quell.

I used to always hide behind the games, or even Gale when my feelings about Peeta were questioned. But the games were over, and Gale was gone, in two, probably kissing someone else. It's not that I wanted Gale like that, I didn't ever really. I just, it was still hard to think of him with someone else. Even if there wasn't anything romantic between us, Gale was still mine. He was my hunting partner, best friend, and a big reason my family and I lived through those years before my games. So much for not thinking about Gale today. Anyway, there was nothing to hide behind now. All that was out in the open were my feelings.

I decided to head back to house, because it was getting dark. I'd been there longer than I thought. Once inside, Peeta was in the kitchen as always. I sat down at the table and was hit by the amazing smell of my favorite foods.

"Lamb stew." I said with a smile.

"You've smiled a lot today."

"It's been a good day." I say truthfully.

"You know, my dad used to tell me about this. That after a bad thing happened, everything got better, you'd always have your bad days, but some days would almost feel like things were normal again."

I thought over my day. It was pretty normal. The pain when I woke up this morning hadn't been as bad; it had been easier to get up and downstairs. I had hummed a happy song my dad used to sing when we came home from hunting. I had laughed and smiled, and kissed Peeta. The only time things seemed bad was down by the lake, but I knew that was good for me, to think over things. Peeta was right, things may actually be improving. I'd never really be the same again, well to be honest; I'd never really feel like Katniss again, but I could be happy, if I tried really hard; if I set my mind to it.

I nodded at him and said, "Yeah, your right. You know we should take the leftovers down to Greasy and Callie."

He smiled, again, that has to be a new record, "Great idea."

He handed me a bowl of lamb stew and I thought back to that time in the war when he handed me a can of the stuff, it was one of his first real signs of Peeta coming back to me. So I absolutely loved lamb stew.

_**Thank you for reading you beautiful people! I will try to have the next chapter up soon, but I'm in school again so, just hang in there with me please! Remember to please review, and if you could tell me what you might like to see out of the story I'd love that! I have the main idea with what I'm going to do, but I'd love suggestions! (By the way, the next chapter will obviously be this from Peeta's POV, but I am also going to include their walk to Greasy Sae's and that night in his chapter!)**_


	8. A day of healing

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Eight-A day of healing.

_(Peeta)_

I rubbed my hands all over my face and through my hair in the attempt to show Katniss how the flour had literally covered me. I was trying to restrain a laugh; because I'm pretty sure Katniss thought laughter was a thing we did not deserve. As much as I understand that, I missed laughing, but I missed her laughter even more. Just as I was about to move on to the part of the story when my dad and brothers stormed in, Katniss let out some strange noise, at first I thought she was about to start sobbing, but it sounded to lighthearted. She slapped her hands over her mouth, and looked at me like she had done something horrible.

"No, no its okay. You can laugh! You can laugh Katniss!" I almost shouted, taking her hands in mine.

A smile overtook her face, it was incredible, I hadn't seen her smile in what felt like years. She fell into my arms and I held her, but not in the way I usually do. It wasn't holding her to stop her sobs or to protect her; I was holding her because we were both almost happy. I laughed right along with her, at first it was about the flour, and then I was laughing because of how much I loved the broken girl in my arms and I laughed because for the first time in a long time, I had some hope growing in my chest.

After she leaned back into her chair I looked into her eyes. The looked happier than usual, they still were coated with sorrow, but they glowed more now.

"Okay, one thing. What was so funny?" I asked her.

"Your face, your hair. Covered in flour. But what was really funny was the way you explained it with your hands." She chuckled, fixing my hair.

"Well, then that story most definitely has to go in the book, and we have to write down the details of your laugh. I've never heard anything like it."

I made a mental note to never ever forget her laugh. It would keep me going, her face lit up with laughter. Nothing was better than that.

After lunch, Katniss decided to go hunting. I wasn't completely thrilled she was leaving, but I was used to it, and she would be back in a few hours. As she started to walk out the door, I did something that surprised even me. I grabbed her, pulled her back into my arms and placed a soft kiss on her lips. The dynamite exploded in my stomach, as it always had, before I was taken by the capitol. I was glad that the feeling had returned.

"See ya in a bit." I said.

She hugged me and walked down the street.

As I turned to go back in the house I realized two things. When I kissed her, there were no nightmares. That's kiss number two with nothing but real thoughts. I congratulated myself. Then I realized how far we've come. When I had first come back to 12, I had only been able to be around her a few hours at a time, and I could only communicate my love for her, and my sorrow that I felt for her brokenness through things like planting primroses in her yard, and making her lamb stew. But now, I could kiss her, and hold her till she want to sleep, I could think about all our memoires and not get confused. Ha, take that capitol, not even hijacking me could really keep Katniss and I apart for long.

I decided to take a nap, so I stretched out on the couch, ever so slightly pleased with my accomplishments.

When I woke up the sun was starting to go down, meaning Katniss would probably be back soon. I headed to kitchen and called Greasy Sae to tell her not to bring us diner tonight. Katniss walked in about an hour or so later. She had that look on her faced to showed she been thinking over things again, it was a mixture of sorrow and ease. She sat down on the table and took a big sniff of air.

"Lamb stew." She said with a smile forming on her face.

"You've smiled a lot today."

"It's been a good day."

"You know, my dad used to tell me about this. That after a bad thing happened, everything got better, you'd always have your bad days, but some days would almost feel like things were normal again."

She thought for a minute, and then looked at me like she had just discovered something about herself, and her life.

"Yeah, your right. You know we should take the leftovers down to Greasy Sae and Callie."

"Great idea."

So after we finished eating we put the leftovers into a bowl and headed out the door. We held hands as we walked through town. More and more people were coming back to 12, and more and more renovations were being made. Some waved at us when we walked by, I could tell some people were a little scared to see me, and tons of people looked at Katniss with a huge amount of respect in their eyes.

When we reached Greasy Sae's house, she opened the door and was obviously surprised to see us. I handed her the soup,

"Well, thank you, but we've already eaten tonight."

"Then eat it tomorrow." Katniss said.

"Yeah, I can make diner tomorrow so you won't have to worry about bringing us anything." I added. Katniss gave me a look of thanks.

"You've done so much for us, it's the least we can do." Katniss told her, and her words sent a whirl through my stomach, because she talked about us like a couple almost.

"Thank you dears. You are too sweet." Greasy Sae said.

Katniss wrapped her arms around the sweet woman, and when they broke apart Callie ran out the door. Her ponytail bouncing with every step.

"Peeta! Katniss!" She yelled, wrapping one arm around my waist and the other around Katnisses. Katniss seemed a little sad; my only explanation for that would be Callie must remind her of Prim.

"Hey Callie." I said, hugging her back.

"Alright Callie, come on, it's time for bed. Goodnight Peeta and Katniss. Thank you. I will see you soon." She closed the door behind her.

Katniss and I headed back to her house, this time with my arm around her shoulders.

"She is so much like Prim." Katniss whispered.

"Does it make you sad? When you see her?"

"A little, it just reminds me that Prim's gone. But I like her too. The same way I liked Rue, because she reminds me of Prim, so I want to be close to her. I want to protect her."

"Katniss, she isn't in any danger."

"That's why I get confused. And sad. I feel like it's not fair, that Prim and Rue where always in danger. They were forced to grew up so fast, and Callie gets to live her life, without danger, without the games." She winced when she said games.

I wrapped my other arm around her, and we stopped in the middle of the road.

"Katniss." I looked right into her grey eyes. "That is exactly why you need Callie in your life. You need her innocence, and her safe feeling. You need to be around someone who isn't dragged down by memories."

I wasn't really talking about Callie specifically, because we aren't that close to her, I was more about talking about children in general. I wanted children someday. But I wasn't bringing that up anytime soon. I think she understood what I meant though.

She looked a little mad, and a new sadness overtook her eyes. Like she wanted to tell me something, but she didn't want to hurt my feelings. She hugged me tightly and we kept walking.

Katniss and I went to bed early that night. I crawled into bed, wrapping her in my arms.

"Stay all night?" She asked.

"Just till you fall asleep Katniss."

"Peeta…"

"It's been a really good day, let's not push are luck."

"Mmm." She sighed and pushed her face closer to my chest, falling asleep in a matter of minutes. I kissed her forehead, but I slept on the chair in her room that night, I didn't have it in me to leave her.

_**Thank you for reading! Please leave a review and tell me what you think, it makes me want to write more. Again, if you have any suggestions or criticism I would love to hear it. For all you that have reviewed, thank you so much! You all make my day everyday. You are so sweet and supportive. I love you all! The next chapter will hopefully be up before Monday, but I'm not positive. **_


	9. Bad Memories

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Nine-

_(Katniss)_

Light poured into my room, waking me from my usual restless sleep. The second my eyes peeled open, the pain took over. Every morning it's like I'm grabbing onto those ladders that freeze you into place, but in my case, a rush of memories freezes me. The pain sears the worst in my chest and the back of my throat. Each person I've lost, each life I have personally ended, each person who died fighting stabs me, it takes a few minutes for me to remember how to make it stop. I begin to hum a song; it was one of Prim's favorites. The tune seems to unclench the muscles throughout my body.

"Katniss?"

Peeta. Why is he here? He never comes up here in the morning.

I choke out something like "Mmm?" and manage to tilt my head over towards the door. But I don't see him where I expected. Instead of standing at the doorway, he was sprawled out on a chair.

I try to say his name, but the pain is closing my throat, so my head just shakes a little and then he's by my side.

"Katniss? Katniss? Are you okay?" He asked as he scooped me up into his arms. The pain sparked in my chest as he moved me into his lap, but once I was there the sudden spark eased enough for words to leak out of my mouth.

"Peeta. Peeta, I…I'm fine." I say, how in the world can I explain this to him?

He holds me tighter and buries his face in my hair. I begin to hum and together we make the pain evaporate. The process goes twice as fast with him by my side.

I look up into his blue eyes, and notice they are streaked with worry.

"Good Morning." I whisper, in a tone that sounds almost defeated.

"Good Morning." He sighs, sounding relieved, and pulling my back into his tight hold. We sit there a while longer, and my mind goes kind of numb. He eventually loosens his grip and I lay back down.

"Breakfast?"

"Yes." I say trying to force a smile to my lips.

"Alright, I'll go make something and bring it up here."

No. I don't want him to leave. I grab his hand, and he almost laughs at the gesture.

"Katniss, I'm not going anywhere. It's morning not nighttime. No nightmares can come right now."

"No. I'm coming with you."

"Alright, well then get out of bed and come on."

I work myself out of bed, and he catches me as I fall a little when my feet hit the floor.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

He half smiled, and led me to the kitchen. I sit down at the table while he cooks.

"You didn't go home last night."

"No, no I didn't. I, uh, stayed."

"Good." I said as he brings me some muffins. I eat them quickly, shocked at how hungry I am.

"Want to work on the book?" I ask

"No. I want to talk to you about something?"

"What?" I ask suddenly a little nervous.

"This morning."

"Mm, yeah, sorry about that." I say standing up and throwing away my trash, not wanting to talk about my regular morning freeze spells.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

He walks over to me and puts one hand around my waist and his other on my forehead.

"Are you sick? Do you feel bad?"

I sigh, leaning my forehead on his chest.

"I'm fine Peeta…I'm not….I'm not sick."

He cups my face with my hands and looks me right in the eye. My heart speeds up and my stomach does the weird flip-flop thing again.

"Then what was this morning about."?

"It happens every morning Peeta."

"What does?"

"I mean, just when I wake up, I can't, I can't move. It's like when I wake up the same thing that happens to you in your nightmares, happens to me. I become paralyzed with fear, well and memories."

"What are you afraid of now Katniss? I understand the memories, but what can you fear now. We're safe, home in district 12."

I don't say anything.

"I'm not going to make you tell me, but you really should talk to someone about it."

I nod, because I know he's right. He nods back, and a kind of sadness over takes his eyes. I hug him and we stand there for a while.

"Alright, well we should do something today. Want to work on the book for a bit and then maybe go for a walk around town?"

"Sounds great." I sigh.

We try to work on the book, but we both seem to just not be that into it today. The stories aren't exciting and they are really only bringing up bad memoires. At one point Peeta had to grab the back of the chair and I sat silently as we waited for his nightmares to end. When he snapped out of it he grabbed my hand and just sat there.

"How about that walk?" He said breathing a little heavy.

"Okay."

We put on our shoes and headed out the door. When heard Haymitch shouting to himself when we walked past his house.

"Haven't seen him in a while, have we? We should stop by on the way back. It's rude not to, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him."

I grip Peeta's hand harder, and sigh. We walk farther into town and I'm soaking in the air. It feels perfect outside. Spring. I love spring. I should go to the woods again tomorrow. When we get into the main square, memories bulldoze me. The reaping, the whipping, the other reaping, all the reapings, reapings, hunger games, death, Prim, Effie, Haymitch, the Victory Tour, Madge, the velvet in the justice building, Gale, Prim, the mayor, the mayors wife and her headaches, my mom, the children running around on parcel day after Peeta and I won the games. I sit down flat on the ground. I'm pretty sure I'm choking.

I don't know how long I was caught in my memories but I definitely wasn't fully here for a minute there. Peeta is kneeling beside me, holding both my hands.

"Katniss?"

"Peeta." I say standing up, and I'm suddenly soaked with a thankfulness that he's here, that he isn't another name on my nightmare list.

"Wha…What's going on with you today?"

"It's just the square, everything's happened here."

He takes me into his arms again. After a second I pull myself together, block the memories out and we keep walking.

"I wanted to show you something."

"What?"

We walked up to the windows of the bakery. Or I should say the rotting, singed, caving-in building that used to be his home and families bakery.

"I want to open it up again. It will be away of keeping my family alive. What do you think?"

"It's a great idea Peeta." I say turning to face him, I force a smile and he grips my hand tighter, nods with a half smile on his face too.

"Alright. We'll talk more about that later. Let's get you home, you seem like you could use a nap."

When he says that I feel how tired I am. On the way home, I become confused.

Yesterday, could that day of happy laughter and lamb stew have been yesterday? It seems like years ago.

The longer we walk the more I cling to his arm, the way to my room is blurry and the next thing I know nightmares are raging in my head and screams are consuming my mouth. They are all dying, horrible deaths. I'm in the arena. I'm calling out for Peeta, but I know he's dead. Gale is setting Prim on fire. I'm screaming.

My eyes bolt open, as they always do when I approach death in my nightmares. But this time is different. I don't wake to memories stabbing me from all sides. I don't wake up to the searing pains consuming my body. I wake up to warms arms, and a steady, strong heartbeat.

"Peeta?"

He crinkles his forehead a little bit and I notice he is asleep. I glance out the window, the sun's going down. I've never really seen Peeta sleep, but he looks a lot younger. I watch him for a while and ever so gently kiss his forehead. He sighs, but doesn't wake. It's a few minutes before he turns a little and his eyes slowly open. When he sees me he looks startled, scared even, but the expression vanishes almost as quickly as it came. He looks over my face with a frown etched on his lips. It makes me feel defensive, but his arms don't loosen and I didn't want them too.

"You always protected me, you have never hurt me. I protect you, I love you, and the capitol is bad. No, the capitol is gone. We won." He says, mainly to himself, but he keeps his eyes locked on mine. I nod, to show he's right. I understand now why he won't stay the night with me. He gets flustered and confused right before he goes to bed and right when he wakes up. It's a little troubling that he has to straighten that out every morning, but I guess I do too, in my own way. We both have our own nightmares to fight off.

After we eat diner, we sit on the couch for a while. Neither of us sure what to do. Both of us are confused on how yesterday could've been so hopeful, but today so painful.

"Today's been hard." He sighs.

I don't say anything.

He kisses my forehead.

"How about we read our book tomorrow? Let's read all the memories we've written so far?" Peeta suggests.

I nod, because that is exactly what I need.

_**Thanks for reading, PLEASE review. I'm not super happy with this chapter, I will probably update it, I'll let you know if I do though. The next chapter will be up (hopefully) this weekend! Sorry this update took me so long. The next chapter will include that night from Peeta's POV as well as all this stuff. Haymitch and a few others will be in the story soon. Sorry for spelling and grammar, I don't have time to proof this one!**_


	10. Starting Simpler

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter 10-

_(Peeta)_

I woke early that morning; so early that it was still somewhat dark outside. I had just enough time to open my eyes when the thoughts poured in. I became very confused. I knew I was in Katnisses house. Was that good or bad? Did she want to hurt me or protect me? No, no I thought. Start simpler. I moved away from the hard topics.

I'm Peeta Mellark. I'm a baker. My favorite color is orange, like the sunset. I was in the 74th Hunger Games, which Katniss and I won. I proposed to Katniss on the victory tour but that was just for the cameras. Katniss and I were friends. Then Katniss wanted to run off into the woods, but then she chose Gale. We didn't run off because she chose the rebellion and Gale. I was heart-broken. Then Katniss and I had to go into the Quarter Quell. I was captured by the capitol and Katniss went to thirteen. This is where the thoughts and memories swirl together. I remember that during my torture I was trying to hang on to Katniss, and the truth but every day my grip became less and less. Until one day, I would have sworn to you she was a mutt. I remember being rescued, I remember seeing Katniss the first time. She ran at me. I thought she was going to kill me but the second my hands went around her neck a tiny voice in the back of my head scolded me, and told me I loved her. That's why I was so confused the rest of the time.

After more thoughts, and more wrestling with myself I settle with the facts that I love Katniss, I don't know if she feels the same way, but she chose me. The capitol was bad, the rebellion was good, and we won. The sun comes up and I hear Katniss roll onto her back. I glance over at her, but she seems like she's still asleep. Only seconds later, I feel a kind of hum come from Katniss, but it's muffled. I look over at her and she seems frozen, lying on her back, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling.

"Katniss?"

She tilts her head slightly and quietly says, "Mmm?" Then her head snaps back to its original position and her eyes close tight. I rush to her side and have my arms around her in a second.

"Katniss? Katniss? Are you okay?"

I have her curled in my lap when I notice her breathing is very heavy. I'm scared she's sick.

"Peeta. Peeta, I…I'm fine." She croaks.

But that's the biggest lie I've ever heard. I can tell she's in a freakish amount of pain. Whether is mental, physical, or both is my problem. I hold her tighter and bury my face in her dark brown hair. As the minutes pass, she becomes less tense. She finally looks up at me and whispers,

"Good Morning."

"Good Morning." I say back, my voice full of relief.

I let her lay back down,

"Breakfast?" I ask.

"Yes." She replies, wearing the most forced smile I've ever seen. I wish she wouldn't do that. I wish she knew she didn't have to be happy or strong for me.

"Alright. I'll go make you something and bring it up here."

I didn't really want to leave, but I knew she was hungry. As I turned towards the door she grabbed my hand like she did every night, and it almost made me laugh.

"Katniss, I'm not going anywhere. It's morning not nighttime. No nightmares can come right now."

"No. I'm coming with you."

"Alright, well then get out of bed and come on."

She slowly gets out of bad, and she falls a little when she try's to walk but I catch her and ask,

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

This morning I'm making just plain muffins because we don't have much else. I need to go some more ingredients. As I'm putting the muffins on a plate she says,

"You didn't go home last night."

"No, no I didn't. I, uh, stayed."

"Good."

I smirk a little. As dangerous as it is, I'm glad she wants me to stay overnight. It's like those old nights on the train. The only times I had the smallest of hope she was falling for me. She eats three muffins in the time it takes for me to eat one.

"Want to work on the book?" She asks

"No. I want to talk to you about something?"

"What?"

"This morning."

"Mm, yeah, sorry about that." She says, getting up to put her plate in the sink. I can tell she'll do whatever it will take to avoid the subject.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

I walk over to her wrapping one of my arms around her and putting my other on her forehead.

"Are you sick? Do you feel bad?"

She leans her head on my chest and says,

"I'm fine Peeta…I'm not….I'm not sick."

I cup her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me.

"Then what was this morning about?"

"It happens every morning Peeta."

"What does?"

"I mean, just when I wake up, I can't, I can't move. It's like when I wake up the same thing that happens to you in your nightmares, happens to me. I become paralyzed with fear, well and memories."

"What are you afraid of now Katniss? I understand the memories, but what can you fear now. We're safe, home in district 12."

She doesn't answer, it makes me even more worried.

"I'm not going to make you tell me, but you really should talk to someone about it."

She nods, and I know I won't get anything else out of her today. I nod back and she hugs me.

"Alright, well we should do something today. Want to work on the book for a bit and then maybe go for a walk around town?" I suggest.

"Sounds great."

The book was not as great as it usually is. It usually brings hope, and good memories. It usually it helps me sort out memories. Yesterday, it even brought us laughter. But today, today was bad.

Katniss was half-heartedly talking about the way Mags mumbled at someone or something when she was annoyed. Then in a split second everything in my head became shiny. Bad memories. Katniss is bad, she hates me. I hate her. She's bad. No, Peeta stop. She's good, she's great. Bad Katniss. I grab the back of my chair. They'll pass, I tell myself. Just hold on. My eyes shut tight. The nightmares rush and surge. After a few minutes I get myself together and understand what's real and not real.

When I open my eyes I see how concerned Katniss is. She seems a little upset too. I want to kiss her, to let her know I love her. But I can't, to risky. So I grab her hand and hold it tight. I can't sit here, and I can't work on the book anymore today.

"How about that walk?" I ask.

"Okay."

We put our shoes on and head out the door, when we pass Haymitch's house I suddenly become concerned about him.

"Haven't seen him in a while, have we? We should stop by on the way back. It's rude not to, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him."

Katniss only grips my hand harder and sighs. She takes deep breaths as we walk, she loves spring. I love spring too, but I don't think anyone loves it as much as Katniss. As we get closer to the town square, I think about the bakery. It might be nice to open it back up, for one it would be a job. I need a job, I need something to do, something to occupy myself with. I'm just about to say something about it to Katniss when she stops dead in her tracks and falls to the ground. Her eyes are closed tightly and she isn't making a sound. She shoves her face between her knees, and wraps her arms around her legs. I scream her name. It takes me a few minutes to get her hands into mine. I think I'm on the verge of tears, and lots of people are looking at us. I keep yelling her name. She must be sick, I tell myself. I make a note to call Dr. Aruelius when I can finally get her home. I decide to stop screaming, maybe I'm scaring her even more. She fidgets. She chokes. Then she looks up into my eyes.

"Katniss?"

"Peeta." She says, sounding relieved and standing up.

"Wha…What's going on with you today?"

"It's just the square, everything's happened here."

I pull her into my arms, but I'm not so much concerned. She sounded older, maybe even wiser when she said that. She pulls herself together and I lead her towards the bakery, because she needs a distraction and I want to see what she thinks.

"I wanted to show you something."

"What?"

I don't answer her because we come up to the burnt old building that was my home and families bakery.

"I want to open it up again. It will be away of keeping my family alive. What do you think?"

"It's a great idea Peeta." She says with another one of her forced smiles. I nod back wishing she would stop trying to make me think she's okay.

"Alright. We'll talk more about that later. Let's get you home, you seem like you could use a nap."

On the way home she seems like she's breaking with each step. She clings to me and by the time we get to the front porch, she is practically asleep. I take her upstairs and lay her on the bed.

I stare at her face for a while. She is so beautiful. She looks so young and pure in her sleep. She is the purest person I know, and I love her for it. I feel bad because today has obviously been hard for her. Yesterday was so hopeful and today quite the opposite. But my dad told me about this, he said some days will seem like the end of the world and others almost normal. I miss my dad. He was so wise.

Katniss starts to toss in her sleep and I know her nightmares are beginning. I know I shouldn't because I'll get flustered and confused if I start to get tired, but she turns again and let's out a little squeal and I have to. I crawl into bed and wrap my arms around her. She calms the second I'm around her. It doesn't last long though, she starts to thrash and scream, but I keep her in my arms. A few minutes later, against all odds, I fall asleep.

I wake up to a girl lying right beside me. My arms are wrapped around her, her gray eyes stare back into mine. Katniss. I'm terrified, she's going to kill me, she killed everyone else I loved. No, I think. Stop. Slow down. I look over her and realize she isn't going to kill me. She is looking at me in a sweet way and my arms are around her. So again, I make myself start with the easier stuff and work myself up to the harder stuff.

"You always protected me, you have never hurt me. I protect you, I love you, and the capitol is bad. No, the capitol is gone. We won." I say.

Katniss nods to show me I'm right. Part of me thinks I might be able to stay the night with her now.

During diner Katniss hums the same songs over and over. We sit on the couch for a while, my thoughts range from types of bread to what could be happening to Katniss each morning.

""Today's been hard." I sigh.

She doesn't say anything.

"How about we read our book tomorrow? Let's read all the memories we've written so far?"

She nods and I think I see a bit of excitement on her face.

We walk upstairs hand in hand and I crawl into bed with her. She nests her head under my chin and I want to kiss her. I restrain myself because I know I can't. She probably doesn't want that. She falls asleep and I get up to leave. As I turn she grabs my hand.

"Stay with me."

"I'll sleep on the chair again."

"But that can't be comfortable."

"It's plenty comfortable."

"Please?"

"You saw what happened today when I woke up."

"But nothing happened."

"But something could have."

"Fine. Sleep on your chair. But if you get uncomfortable, you're always welcome." She says and turns over on her side facing me.

I curl up on my chair and she looks at me until she falls asleep.

As soon as I know she's out I whisper,

"I love you, Katniss. Goodnight."

_**So sorry this update took me forever. PLEASE REVIEW. Reviews=faster updates. Plus they mean the world to me. Thank you for reading! I know Peeta's emotions are scattered and all over the place, but I just feel like his mind would be like that after all he's been through. So there will be more characters in chapters to come and more action. So please don't stop reading!**_


	11. Random acts of Kindness

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Eleven- Random acts of Kindness

_(Katniss)_

My screams wake me. I jump up into a sitting position, terrified. Then I freeze. I double over, like one does when they are about to be sick. I clutch my middle with my arms and slowly try to lie back down. But I can't. So much pain. So many memories. So many, many deaths. I'm scared, no I'm horrified. I can't move from this position. I must stay here, that's best for everyone. It's what's best for me. I try to hum, wanting to ease the burning. My eyes are open wide but I can see nothing but the blurred image of my legs. My sub-conscious chose the valley song. I remember Peeta; I know he's in this room. As much as I want to see him, I'm scared too. Not scared that he'll ask me what's wrong with me, just scared to see him. Scared to smell and feel him, because I know that at any second, that might be gone forever. That brings on another round of pain. My vision is blurrier than ever and I can feel my heartbeat through my entire head. I think I might black out but then I feel a hand on my back.

"Katniss?"

The second I don't respond, I'm curled in his lap. His face buried in my hair. Again, I attack the pain and memories with him by my side. I have to fight off the urge to jump out of his lap and run away out of fear. He lays down with me, his arms looped round my back.

"It's early." He says.

"Wha..What time?" I choke out.

"The sun is just coming up."

"My scream woke me, that's why."

"Tell me what's wrong Katniss."

"I told you yesterday Peeta. I'm fine."

"Please stop. You don't have to convince me your okay. I want to know what's going on."

I don't say anything. He kisses my forehead and whispers,

"Please Katniss?"

I don't think I've ever really given into Peeta before, and never ever on something this big. But this spring morning I did,

"I'm scared about losing you. I'm scared to take pleasure in anything because I know it could all be gone in seconds. Prim disappeared in a blink of an eye, so did Finnick, so did Gale, and so did you Peeta."

That stupid noise I make when I cry came up but I swallow it and carry on.

"So every morning I'm frozen as everything rushes through my head and eventually I find a way to lock them away so I can get on with my day."

"And humming gives you the strength to do that?" He asks stroking my hair and obviously trying to put this together.

"Not strength, it just relaxes the burning."

He sits in thought.

"What makes you happiest Katniss? When now in your life are you happiest?"

I almost answer, in the woods, immediately but I catch my tongue. These days the woods are not my safe-haven. It is true the woods make me feel free and alive. But the don't do much else for me now. I think over other times, the book is probably my best bet. But if I'm honest the happiest I feel are when I come down stairs and Peeta has made me breakfast, or when Greasy Sae brings us diner, or when Callie draws me a picture. I'm happiest when I think about all the people in the seam helping each other build houses.

"I'm happiest when someone does something nice."

I explain to him all the times I've felt my heart swell because of their selflessness. He smiles, and it reassures me. I've grown to love his smile more than I ever thought possible. There are little flitters in my stomach when he puts a hand on my cheek.

"Then that's your answer Katniss."

"What is?"

"When you freeze just think about all the times you've seen an act of kindness. I mean you got more color in your cheeks and your breathing steadied just because you were talking to me about it."

"That just might work Peeta."

"If it doesn't we'll give Dr. Aurelius a call."

I nod and think about how much harder it must be for Peeta to wake up and not know which of his terrifying memories is real.

"How do you do it Peeta? How do you get everything sorted out?"

He laughs and shakes his head like he's about to tell me something ridiculous.

"Well I mean, it feels like I go through my entire life every morning. Shaking away anything shiny and only focusing on the plain memories."

We lay there a while longer then get up and eat breakfast. The morning is spent on the couch reading our book. It's nice to hear the stories and I feel that little bubble of hope and I even snicker when we read the part about Peeta dropping the flour.

After we have finished its around two in the afternoon, over lunch Peeta says,

"It needs something."

"It needs more stories."

"Well we don't have many more do we?"

"No, but we will someday."

As I say this, I realize my future is Peeta. I smile a little and look into his eyes. I don't think any future with those blue, protective eyes, could be all that bad.

"We could ask Haymitch. I'm sure he has tons." He suggests.

"Sounds great, we should've gone over there a long time ago."

We put our shoes on and head out the door. I don't hear Haymitch shouting as we run up to the door. I knock. No answer. Peeta trys the knob, it's unlocked.

The place smells of alcohol. It's dark and stuffy. Haymitch is passed out in a chair.

Peeta hesitates.

"I know what to do." I tell him.

I walk into the kitchen and fill a pot up with ice water. I dump it on his head.

He yells and looks up, his eyes light in recognition when he sees us.

"Well it has been a while. How are my star-crossed lovers? Nice of you to stop by anyway. Wh..Why am I soaking wet?"

Peeta and I laugh at the same time. We get Haymitch cleaned up, well Peeta gets Haymitch cleaned up. I straighten up the house, just so it's livable. I threw away the empty bottles and clean up some of the spills. I heat up the bread Peeta made for him and pour a glass of milk because who knows when he last actually ate food. They come back downstairs a few minutes later. Talking back and forth like the used to, it's a nice sight to see.

"So I've been thinking about raising geese…" Haymitch says with a chuckle.

When we don't say anything he goes on to say,

"What have you both been doing to keep busy?"

"We're writing a book." I say.

He laughs and almost falls to the floor. For some reason it rubs me the wrong way and I snap back,

"Well it's a better hobby than getting drunk and passing out everyday."

He laughs again and I give up on defending myself, it really doesn't matter. After all this is Haymitch.

Peeta continues to explain on about how we want him to put something in our book. He agrees and tells us he'll write it in a book and give it to us. We leave when he starts to get cranky, but not before I make sure he eats all the food I laid out for him.

Peeta goes home to take a shower and get some clothes. I go home and walk upstairs and take a shower and change. I really smelled quite horrible.

Greasy Sae stops by with Callie later and brings us some soup and Peeta gives her some bread. We talk for a minute and Peeta plays will Callie. Callie gives me a big hug before they leave and I feel a little bit of the innocence Peeta told me about. It's like a small bundle of hope wraps their arms around your neck.

I'm tired early so we go upstairs. I get in bed and Peeta turns to get in his chair. I grab his hand again.

"Stay with me."

"I'm better Katniss, but not that much better."

"Please?"

"Katniss…"

"Why do we have to go through this every night? Just give in already." I almost shout.

He laughs and though he doesn't give in, he kisses me. This kiss isn't like one of those short kisses we've shared since we've been home, it's like the one we shared on the night he gave me the pearl. My heart is going crazy and my stomach is erupting with those fluttery things. It isn't long before I feel that hunger. He pulls back and closes his eyes for a second. I try and catch my breath. He's fighting off nightmares and I feel bad that I made him do that. After a minute he looks up and says,

"Sorry..."

I cut him off, "No I'm sorry."

I want to kiss him again but I know his nightmares would rage and I feel almost lightheaded.

_**Thank you for reading! PLEASE leave a review. It means so much to me. I tried really hard to get this up fast and I will do the same with the next chapter. Hoped you liked it. **_

_**Kat8100- Thank you! But I don't think she would have realized it that fast, at this point Peeta has been home about eight months, and Katniss is a stubborn girl. I see her as sacred about her feelings. But I hope you liked her feelings in this chapter (;**_


	12. Not Yet

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Twelve-Not Yet

_(Peeta)_

Someone screams. A blood-curdling scream. It pierces my ears and shoots my brain into consciousness. I look around and slowly piece together why I'm here, who I am, and what's true. It takes about ten minutes this morning to work through my mind. New record. Then it hits me right in the gut, Katniss is the one who made that scream. I look over at her and she's clutching her stomach like she's about to be sick. Her body is as stiff as a rock. I'm by her side in seconds.

"Katniss?"

No answer. I take her into my arms willing her to come back to me. Just like yesterday, her muscles slowly unclench and relax. I finally get her to lay down again. "It's early." I say.

"Wha..What time?" She chokes out.

"The sun is just coming up."

"My scream woke me, that's why."

"Tell me what's wrong Katniss."

"I told you yesterday Peeta. I'm fine."

"Please stop. You don't have to convince me your okay. I want to know what's going on."

She doesn't say anything. I kiss her forehead and whisper,

"Please Katniss?"

She thinks for a second.

"I'm scared about losing you. I'm scared to take pleasure in anything because I know it could all be gone in seconds. Prim disappeared in a blink of an eye, so did Finnick, so did Gale, and so did you Peeta. So every morning I'm frozen as everything rushes through my head and eventually I find a way to lock them away so I can get on with my day."

She swallows her sobbing sounds.

"And humming gives you the strength to do that?"

"Not strength, it just relaxes the burning."

I think for a minute about ways she could make the pain go away instead of just ease. I fight my nightmares off by reviewing my life, but that would just make it worse for Katniss. She needs to focus on her future. A place with more hope and no more games.

"What makes you happiest Katniss? When now in your life are you happiest?"

I was almost sure she was going to tell me that she was happiest in the woods, and then I'd be lost. I just know that if she can recall happy memories in the mornings, it might help. The woods however, would mean she'd have to go there.

"I'm happiest when someone does something nice." She answers.

She continues telling me about all the memories she has of someone being kind. I didn't expect it. But I think it's one of the best things I've found out about her. I put my hand on her cheek, "Then that's your answer Katniss."

"What is?"

"When you freeze just think about all the times you've seen an act of kindness. I mean you got more color in your cheeks and your breathing steadied just because you were talking to me about it."

"That just might work Peeta."

"If it doesn't we'll give Dr. Aurelius a call."

She seems relived and almost hopeful.

"How do you do it Peeta? How do you get everything sorted out?"

I laugh, knowing how ridiculous it is.

"Well I mean, it feels like I go through my entire life every morning. Shaking away anything shiny and only focusing on the plain memories."

We eat an early breakfast and then pick up the book. We read through the whole thing by two. Katniss giggles at the flour story and I smiled like an idiot through all the parts about our cave. But still, it's just not as good as is could be. Which is why over lunch I say, "It needs something."

"It needs more stories."

"Well we don't have many more do we?"

"No, but we will someday." She smiles.

That makes my heart swell to twice its normal size.

We head over to our mentors house. The place reeks and there seems to be an empty bottle in every available location. Haymitch is passed out on a chair.

"I know what to do." Katniss tells me.

She gets a pot, fills it with ice-cold water and dumps it on his head. I can't help but laugh as he jolts up, but the funniest thing has to be the smirk on Katnisses face.

"Well it has been a while. How are my star-crossed lovers? Nice of you to stop by anyway. Wh..Why am I soaking wet?" He says.

We both laugh. It's good to hear her laugh again. I get Haymitch cleaned up, but he's awake enough to handle the shower alone. It's good to talk to him again. As much as I hate to admit it, and as mad as Katniss would be, I actually think Haymitch can be quite funny when he's drunk. He rambles on about stupid stuff and it can be entertaining to listen too.

We head back downstairs, where Katniss has been hard at work. The place looks, for lack of a better word, livable. She's set out some food and cleaned spills and thrown away bottles.

"So I've been thinking about raising geese…" Haymitch says with a loud laugh from the corner of the room. "What have you both been doing to keep busy?"

Of course, we all do something to keep our minds off the games.

"We're writing a book." Katniss says.

For some reason Haymitch finds that hilarious. He almost falls but I catch him. I restrain a laugh, because I can tell Katniss isn't happy with his reaction.

"Well it's a better hobby than getting drunk and passing out everyday." She snaps.

I have to agree with that one.

"Speaking of the book Haymitch, it's kind of a book of memories. So we were wandering if maybe you could contribute some of yours because we're running a little low?"

He agrees, and says he'll write it in a separate book and then give it to us.

I go home and take a shower, while Katniss does the same. My house is dark and dingy. You can tell no one's really lived in it for a while. All the grief and guilt about my dad and two brothers hits me right in the gut again. I struggle up the stairs to my shower. The water feels good and it mixes in with my tears.

I grab most of my clothes and walk back over to Katniss; it's still somewhat bright outside. Summer's coming in. I realize this will be the first summer in 75 years where no reaping takes place. It's a good feeling.

Greasy Sae brings us diner again tonight, and I give her some bread in exchange. Once my bakery's open, she'll never have to worry about being short on bread ever again. I play with Callie. She tells me more about her own little imaginary world.

We go to bed early. We're both tired because of how early we woke up. I tuck Katniss in and kiss her forehead. I turn to get in my chair, but she grabs my hand. I give up on the hope that she will ever just trust me on this.

"Stay with me."

"I'm better Katniss, but not that much better."

"Please?"

"Katniss…"

"Why do we have to go through this every night? Just give in already."

I laugh, but I don't give in. However I do lean down so that we're eye level and I press her lips to mine. My stomach explodes and my hearts speeds up. I'm able to stay steady for a lot longer than usual, but eventually the nightmares storm in. I pull back and close my eyes tight and clench my hands to keep them away from Katniss. The voice in the back of my head gets more and more powerful each day.

"Sorry.."

She doesn't let me finish. "No, I'm sorry."

I go back to my chair and I notice how heavily Katniss is breathing. It makes me smile. I want to ask; I want to ask her so bad. But I can't. I know that it isn't the right time.

_**Thank you for reading you wonderful people! PLEASE REVIEW! I liked this chapter, and I hope you did too! I'm starting another story soon about Finnick and Annie soon, so if you'd like, I'd love it if you would read it when it's up! Well, thanks again! **_


	13. Haymitch Abernathy's Book

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Thirteen- Haymitch Abernathy's Book

_(Katniss)_

The spring came and went in a matter seconds. Our lives suddenly became busy with things to do. The mornings were easier now because as soon as Peeta fought off his nightmares, he helped me fight mine. We didn't work much on the book anymore. We just add to it when a memory surfaces. I actually started hunting again, not just sitting in the woods. I brought game in for all the people in town who were hungry, free of charge. I gave Greasy Sae all she would ever need and Peeta and I were never short on rabbit or squirrels. In a way, the seam had turned into one giant hob. We make sure to check on Haymitch everyday. Peeta had basically moved in, and insists on sleeping in that chair every night. I am eighteen now, but feel as if I should be an old woman. Peeta is in the process of restoring his old home and family bakery. He, and a few of his old school friends that came back to twelve, demolished the whole thing and started from scratch. So far the only have the basis of the building, but one day it will be up and running.

Peeta and I have done a better job of keeping in touch with people. We write letters to Annie and her baby boy named Finnick. I call my mom every week. But the one person I have failed to contact is Gale. I have felt nothing but relief since I found out Gale was not returning to twelve, except for when I'm in the woods. But I know I should at least call him.

Peetas' nightmares have gotten better. He hasn't had a close call in about two months. He still has to sort through his past in the mornings, but otherwise he's the same.

Peeta bakes, I hunt, Haymitch drinks. We all have our things to keep our minds off the games.

It was a hot June night; Peeta and I were sitting in the kitchen just talking, when Haymitch walked in the door. Well he more like busted though the door.

"I did what you asked." He said, throwing a book on the table and sliding into a chair.

"And what was that?" Peeta questioned.

"I wrote the book." Haymitch answered.

I realize what he means and I snatch it from the table. I have no idea why, but I'm beside myself with curiosity. Peeta slides over beside me and we slowly look through the book.

It's incredible.

It's starts with little things Haymitch remembers from his childhood. Things like his mom, his dad, some of his friends from school, and this one picture of a girl with long brown hair and light blue eyes. The caption says, "My Girl."

"It's the only picture I've kept." Haymitch tells us. "My she was something."

"What was her name?" Peeta asks.

"Adeline." Haymitch says, he almost tears up, but stops it by taking a huge gulp of liquor.

As it turns out there is a whole huge story on this Adeline, but not once did he write her name. He calls her, "my girl." Haymitch seems to remember everything about her, her laugh, and her eyes, even her family. He had a crush on her since they were little kids, but only got the guts to tell her in the justice building before he was sent to the games.

Haymitch was close to tears as his parents left the room. He leaned against the walls and waited for his final visitor. She practically ran into the room and went straight for his arms. They hugged for a long time as Haymitch thought of all the times he'd taken spending days and days with her for granted. Oh what he would give now for ten minutes instead of only five.

There was silence and he knew now was the time to expose his secret, this would be the last time he'd see her.

"I love you Ade, I'm sorry I waited till now, but really I do." Haymitch choked out.

"Haymitch." She said, taking him into a hug. "I love you too. I've loved you as long as I can remember."

Adeline started to cry and he slowly wiped away her tears.

"Goodbye Ade." Haymitch whispered. Kissing her for the first time.

She kissed him back and then said, "This isn't goodbye."

Peeta and I both tried to sympathize for Haymitch but he nudged it off.

"I just want to remember her, I don't want your sorrow." Haymitch said.

His love story was followed by a description of all the tributes he had been in his games with, and all the tributes from district 12 he had mentored.

There was also a huge chunk of the book dedicated to Maysille. She apparently had been very funny, but the kind of funny that the games would never show to the people. Haymitch put all her jokes and sarcasm in the book. She reminded me a lot of Johanna, but less insulting.

He also included descriptions and jokes he shared with all the victors he had mentored with.

The last part of the book was a complete and total shock.

It was all about Peeta and I. It was how I had volunteered for Prim, it was how I shot the gamekeepers pig, it was witty conversations Peeta and Haymitch had shared, and it was Peeta and I winning the games. It was Peeta and his first normal conversation when he'd been rescued and brought to thirteen. The most surprising thing about it is that he had written about the time I fell into his arms crying when I realized how the capitol was using Peeta. It said, "She could've slobbered all over anyone, but she chose my shirt to soil."

I know he knew I would see this so he tried to slide it off as a joke, but I know Haymitch wanted to remember that he comforted someone.

After we were all done reading his book he didn't allow any conversation he just took some bread and left.

"Who knew Haymitch had so much big, romantic heart?" I asked Peeta.

"I did not see that coming." He answered.

"It's nice though."

"It is. It sure is." Peeta kissed my cheek and started cleaning the kitchen.

_**Sorry it took me so long to update! PLEASE REVIEW…even if you've already reviewed, it motivates me more than you can imagine. I started a Finnick/Annie story and it will be up soon. Oh and I'm doing a Haymitch one shot, so make sure to check that out too. Thanks for reading!**_


	14. Paintings and Television

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Fourteen- Paintings and Television

_(Peeta)_

I hate to say it but his book was better than ours. I mean he had to have sobered up a little to write it, and for him that was like cutting off his arm. It was detailed, meaningful, and a little painful to look at. I used to judge him for being an alcoholic, but, gosh, I would be drunk all the time if I had lost everything he had.

He came out of his games with nothing.

By some amazing chance, I got Katniss. I wandered what it would be like if Katniss and I's story had been like Haymitch and Adeline's. I could see myself pushing past the peacekeepers to see her even though I wouldn't have been expected. I would bust through the door and see her sitting on the couch. She would look brave, holding back tears. I would confess all my feelings; she probably wouldn't say anything back. I would hug her and she would leave, on her way to the capitol.

"Peeta?" Katniss interrupts my chain of thought.

"Mmmh?"

"I'm going hunting. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Alright. See you then."

I wrapped my arms around her, planting a kiss on her forehead. Our hugs have gotten a lot longer. She smiled back and walked out the door.

I slowly walk upstairs, more tired than usual. I step on a floorboard and it causes something to creek. It's Prim's door. It scares me, like I've never seen it before or something. I always knew it was there, but Katniss and I never enter it. Curiosity pulls me through the doorway.

The room looks like the resident has just gone downstairs to get a drink of water. The covers are pulled back like Prim just tossed them aside to get up. The bed is small and adorned in a pink quilt. The bathroom door is open, and there's small book about birds on the nightstand. It's open to the page about Mockingjay's.

I never knew Prim really well, but tears slide down my face. The small dresser has all Prim's clothes, neatly folded. There are ribbons hung on the handles.

I force myself to leave, because my heart is slowly breaking. But not for me, for Katniss.

I walk downstairs, into the study, because it's where I put all my painting things. For some reason when I asked Katniss where I could put them she told me this room because "it's where all her nightmares are." When I asked her to explain, she said it was nothing important.

I took up my brush, found a blank canvas, and got lost in my work.

An hour or two later I step back to see how it came out.

The colors swirl to show Katniss and Prim holding hands, walking home from school. It doesn't show their faces, just there backs. You can see Katnisses long braid and Prim's blonde hair tied up with her blue ribbon. It was a scene I had watched many times from the bakery window.

I hear the door open and close, "Peeta?" Katniss calls from the living room.

"In here!" I answer.

"Can you come out here?"

"No, come here. I want to show you something."

She groaned but came in; before she saw the painting I encircled my arm around her waist.

"Oh." She saw it after a second. "It's…That's Prim and I. Oh, you have Prim perfectly. Look at her bow."

She leaned her head onto my shoulder and kept looking at the picture.

"Thank you." She said, gazing into my eyes. Her sobbing sound escaped her mouth and tears ran down her face. I took her in my arms and we sat there for a long time.

"Diner?" I interrupted the silence.

"Of course." She answered. I kissed her cheek and she placed her hand on the spot my lips had my contact and we walked back to the kitchen.

I busily made rabbit stew and Katniss read stories out loud about Prim and Lady.

She snickered occasionally; I didn't think it was possible to love a person's laugh so much.

We ate quickly and resided to sitting on the couch.

"You know what we've never done?" I said.

"What?"

"Watch T.V.? Isn't that what people usually do in their free time?"

"You want to try it out?"  
>"Why not." I answered.<p>

Katniss clicked on the Television. She scrolled through the endless number of channels. We saw a silly singing show that Plutarch had started. There were a few other ridiculous shows, but none that were as bad as the ones that capitol had made. It wasn't until we came across the news did Katniss put down the remote. There, in front of us, was Gale's face. He was talking to an interviewer.

I didn't catch anything he said, except he was talking about which man would win the election for district two governor. Katniss flicked the screen off when the scene changed.

She buried her face in my chest and started breathing deeply.

I wasn't really sure how to take it; I wasn't really even sure what had happened in the end between Katniss and Gale. My jealousy was gone. I just felt bad for Katniss. I mean that was her best friend, the person who helped keep her family alive.

It got later and later and I realized Katniss had fallen asleep. I carried her upstairs, put her in bed, and sprawled out on my chair.

Only when I was half-asleep did I realize this had been the first night in a long time that Katniss hadn't grabbed my hand and asked me to stay. It made my heart sink a little.

_**Thank you, for reading! Please Review. If any of you were wandering, this story won't end for a while, I have a lot planned. So I put up another story about Haymitch and Adeline, if ya'll liked them please read it! My Finnick/Annie story will be up soon! But this story is still my main priority. Again thank you so much, and please review!**_


	15. Who I can't survive without

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Fifteen- Who I can't survive without

_(Katniss)_

_I'm walking down a road. It's been a really long road and I'm tired and ready to go home. I can hear screaming on all sides. I don't recognize any of them, but I do know that I caused them that pain. I can see a fork in the road up a head. I approach it and I suddenly feel torn, because I don't know which way to go. The road on my left leads into beautiful woods and I can feel the game practically swarming through the brush. The path on my right is made of smooth, grey stone. It looks like it leads straight into the sunset. The longer I stare at it the better I feel. The weariness from my journey begins to shed. I see dandelions and primroses blooming in the distance. So without further hesitation I take off running down the stone path. I don't even look back at the woods. All the screams have stopped and my head is echoing laughter, mockingjays, and my dad humming in the breeze. The sun is nearly gone and it's getting darker by the second. I lay down right off the pathway on a bed of grass. I pick a dandelion and hold right by my heart. As I drift to sleep a voice whispers in my ear, "Goodbye Catnip." _

"_Goodbye Gale." I whisper back while my eyes slide shut. _

I wake up in my room back in district twelve. I'm a little disoriented. I thought I was in a meadow…it was so beautiful.

"Where's my dandelion?" I whisper. Then my gut clenches, but before I can freeze I think of all those random acts of kindness I've seen.

It takes only minutes for me to get up and move myself to the shower. My dream rushes back to me. Last night was the first time in a really long time I didn't have a nightmare. But I'm sure it meant something, I just don't know what. The dandelions had obviously connected to Peeta, but why had I said goodbye to Gale? Why had Gale said goodbye to me?

I remember seeing his face last night. At first it was good to see him, it was good to know he was okay, but then I saw my sister on fire. All I could think about was that it was Gale's fault. He did that to her. I tried not to think like that, but I couldn't help it. I remember lying down to go to sleep; I let Peeta leave because I needed time to let go. I needed to be alone to say goodbye to Gale, and to our friendship. I needed time for closure.

I get out, dry my hair and dress in a simple red shirt and jeans. I head downstairs where I hear Peeta thrumming away in the kitchen.

"I was just about to come check on you." Peeta says kissing me on the cheek. "Here, have some breakfast."

We eat quickly and silently.

"I'm going hunting, but not for long." I tell him.

"I'm going to get some painting stuff, and check on the bakery."

I put my hunting boots on and head out the door. It's a hot summer morning. About the same time the games would be ending, which in a way they have. There is no one left to kill, the hunger games are over. My victory tour has begun.

The fence around district 12 is gone, so I can walk straight into the woods. I grab my bow and arrows from behind the tree and begin the hunt.

I scale a tree and sit on a branch, shooting random rabbits or squirrels I see. I lose track of time, and before I know it the sun is higher in the sky.

I jump down and retrieve all my arrows from the prey's eyes. I fill my game bag and head back to town. I first stop at the butchers, making sure he has enough to stay in business. Then I head to Greasy Sae's, she takes three rabbits and two squirrels. She tells me she is working on setting up an actual soup shop; I give her another rabbit and tell her she needs to get cooking then. The last place I go to is a new building that has been rebuilt from the remains of the justice building. It is a large single room with massive windows and bunk beds all along one wall. There is also a large kitchen, but the rest is just open space with a few tables. It is the new, completely legal hob dedicated to making district twelve a better place.

If you don't have a home yet, you can sleep here.

There is always someone cooking something and all the food is free.

And lastly it is a place of trade, although I just bring my game and dump some on a table for people to pick up and put the rest in the kitchen.

I think I would like the place better if it was a place that could make Prim and my mom's life better.

I head back to Victor's Village. I stop by to see Haymitch who is passed out on the couch. I clean up a little, put a blanket over him, and replace that vodka in the bottle beside him with water.

I walk inside my house and wash the sweat of my face and chug a glass of ice-cold water.

"Peeta?" I yell.

"In here!" His voice echoes from the study.

"Again?" I hate it when he's in there. I feel like president snow is going to take him again. _President Snow is dead, _I tell myself.

Peeta walks out into the kitchen, he has paint all over his face hands, and clothes.

"I've been painting." He says.

"Really?" I say sarcastically.

He laughs, "Very funny. Well I'm going to go take a shower. There is some stew on the stove."

"Yum." I say. He kisses my check and heads upstairs.

I eat some stew and clean up the kitchen. I still hear the water running, so I decide to see what Peeta's been up too.

The study sends blood-curdling chills up my spine; I can almost hear Snow say, _I have a problem, Miss Everdeen, a problem that began the moment you pulled out those poisonous berries in the arena. _I almost turn away and flee the room but something makes me stay.

The place looks entirely different. The desk has been moved up against the wall and it has paints and brushes all over it. There are paintings everywhere, some that I've seen before. There are paintings from the games, paintings from the victory tour, and paintings from the quarter quell. The most horrifying are the paintings from the times Peeta was being hijacked.

One is a cell, a cold dark metal cell. Another is a hospital room but right next to the patient's bed is a tray of shots containing a yellow liquid. Others are peacekeepers dragging people into rooms, others are torture chambers.

I look way from those quickly, as my stomach twists in knots.

The paintings that are still on stands are of different, happier things. The picture of Prim and I walking home, a picture of me sleeping, a picture of what the bakery will look like when it's done, and a picture of Callie hugging my legs.

I stare at them all for a long time, entranced by their beauty.

"Katniss?" Peeta calls, I'm about to leave when he walks in. "There you are."

He wraps his arms around my waist, "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I know these are hard to look at."

"Not these." I say pointing to the new ones. "These are my favorite."

"I'm glad you like them."

Before he can interrupt or leave, I press my lips to his. It's a short kiss, but it holds a big message. _I have said goodbye to Gale. _I pull away and he locks his eyes quick, and freezes for a minute.

He "comes out of it" shortly and locks eyes with me. He kisses me quickly on more time, as if to say, _I understand._

The rest of the day passes quickly. We read bits of our book and talk about silly stories of the kinds of pictures Peeta and Delly used to draw.

We eat diner and I shower again because I had sweated a lot out in the woods. I climb in bed and Peeta heads upstairs.

"Are you tired?" He asks.

"Mmm, yeah." I answer.

He climbs into bed and pulls me close to him, "Then go to sleep."

"Goodnight." I say back.

"Night." He whispers, kissing my forehead.

_**Okay, THANK YOU FOR READING, please review! Alright, I hope you understood the dream and why Katniss closed everything with Gale, if you didn't please message me and I will explain. I wasn't sure how to get it across but I did my best. Sorry if this was choppy but I wanted to get it up today. I'll post the next chapter this weekend. PLEASE read my Haymicth story if you liked the part about him and Adeline. Remember to please review!**_


	16. Always

_I do not own The Hunger Games_

Chapter Sixteen-Always.

_(Peeta)_

_Katniss is running toward me. She has a smile a mile wide on her face. Her arms are extended to hug me, but then a rose blooms right in the path and swallows her into the ground. I run towards where she had been and kneel on the ground, the rose is gone and all that is left is a small pile of snow. Tears stream down my face._

"_You took her! You took her away from me!" _

My eyes shot open, and I am about to shout out again in anger when I see Katniss curled in my arms. She is twitching and kicking but otherwise perfectly safe.

Then doubt, and shiny memories creep into my thoughts.

I try to push them aside but I end up having to work through them.

Finally I grab hold of the truth and wait for Katniss to wake up.

She lets out a muffled scream, her eyes snap open and lock with mine. Hey body relaxes and she nuzzles her head into my chest.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yes. You?" She sounds clam. I wander if it takes a second for her memories to kick in.

"Yes." I answer.

We eventually get up and head downstairs. As I cook breakfast I say to Katniss, "This morning, I'm confused. You didn't freeze or anything."

"Of course I didn't." She answers me plainly.

"But, I mean, isn't it like an every other day thing?"

"It just doesn't happen when your there."

I don't say anything; I just nod while my heart swells. I want to kiss her but I'm not quite comfortable with my nightmares yet so I let it go.

We eat breakfast to Katniss' muffled hums and the rush of the dishwasher.

After we clean up Katniss heads out to go hunting so I get dressed and head to the bakery. I smile when I see my friends sitting outside. There are three guys that I used to be friends with at school that have returned too District 12. They all need jobs, so once the bakery is open they'll work there.

"Hey guys." I shout.

The shout back and we get to work. The building is almost done. My goal is for it to look almost exactly like it did before. One of the guys, named Ethan will live in the house over the bakery because he and his girl are don't have a house right now.

By the mid afternoon we realize that the whole structure is done, so now all that we have left is the interior. We all high-five and head over to the hob for some lunch, I had always been scared to go into the Hob before, but now it's one of my favorite places.

After lunch I head back home, when I walk in the door I hear the shower running.

"I'm home!" I shout.

"I'm almost done!" She shouts back.

I laugh a little and sit on the couch. In a few minutes she runs down stairs, her hair still soaking wet and down. She is wearing one of my white t-shirts, its huge on her, and a baggy pair of jeans. I have to tell my heart to slow down.

She sits down next to me and curls into my arms.

"You don't mind do you?" She asks gesturing to her shirt "I couldn't find any of mine, I think they're all dirty."

"Consider it yours." I say kissing her forehead. She snickers and says, "Thanks."

We continue on to talk, I tell her about the bakery and she tells me the note she got from Annie today. Apparently baby Finnick has taken his first steps, so we add that to the book.

She helps me cook diner, and then we eat and head up to bed early.

"Today has been good." She whispers to me, half asleep.

"That's going to happen a lot more often now." I say pressing my lips softly to hers for a brief second. She smiles and asks, "Stay with me?" Then she falls asleep.  
>"Always." I whisper.<p>

_**Yay! The "Always" line, I was so excited for this time to come! Thanks for reading, please review! Sorry this update took so long. I'll try to be quicker. Again Thank you for reading, it means more than you'll ever know. Oh and I'm sorry this is so short.**_


	17. Bakeries and Night Skies

_**I do not own The Hunger Games**_

Chapter Seventeen- Bakeries and Night Skies

_(Katniss)_

I awoke to the smell of bread and warmth coursing through my body. I slowly open my eyes, and stretch my toes. Peeta's arms are wrapped around me, and his breathing is steady and soft. My gut ever so slightly grips as memories flood back into my brain, but I simply shut my eyes tightly and move closer to Peeta. He twitches a little and his eyes bolt open, he freezes still when he sees me. For a few minutes I sit as still as a statue, until he relaxes and says, "Morning."

"Morning." I reply softly "I'm sorry."

"There is nothing to apologize for Katniss." He says, kissing my forehead

We eat breakfast to the sound of my muffled hums and then I tell Peeta I'm about to head to the woods for the day but he says, "Actually, would you mind coming to see the bakery with me today?"

I'm a little surprised so I stutter, "Uh…yeah..sure…Why?"

He laughs, and replies, "Because it is going to be part of our life."

_Our life. _He continues on to say more about it, but I look down at the ground. My mind racing with different thoughts, when we head out the door I'm actually excited to see the bakery.

The weather is hot, but summer is coming to an end. Lots of people are outside, planting or watering. I wave at some people and they wave back, others look at us and hurry back into the house. It makes my heart quake with guilt and sadness.

We reach the bakery and I hear the sound of hammers. The outside is obviously done, and looks exactly like it did before. I smile and grip Peeta's hand harder; memories of a full belly and smile on Prim's face after eating warm bread fill my head. Peeta grips my hand back and kisses my check as we walk inside.

The inside has a long, long way to go. It is all beams and tools. Four and five guys are shuffling around and hammering.

"Peeta!" One of them shouts, I've seen him at school but I don't know his name. "Oh Katniss, hey." He adds when he sees me.

"Ethan," Peeta replies. "How's it coming?"

Peeta and Ethan talk back and forth for a while about measurements and other things I don't understand.

"Uh, Katniss, Ethan is the one who is going to live upstairs." Peeta says.

I look up at Ethan; he looks strong and has messy brown hair. He looks older then Peeta, he looks Gale's age. Not only that, but he looks a lot like Gale as well. The same eyes, the same build. I try to smile, but can only manage a smirk because I'm also trying to push the image of Prim on fire from my mind. My knees falter but Peeta supports me.

"Good. That's good." I say in a cracked voice. I shake Ethan's hand and he squeezes it harder than I expected. He looks at me like he is trying to reassure me. I decide that I like Ethan.

We walk around more, and I see that the place is really going to be nice.

Peeta and I stay till lunch, and then we go to the hob for lunch. They are all very funny, and a lot like Peeta. I enjoy being around them and by the end of the day I actually laughed a few times. Peeta and I head back to the house when it starts to get dark, but he asks to go to the meadow first.

By the time we get there it's dark and we lay down on the soft grass. It's wet with dew but that feels good my legs and hands. We stay silent for a long time, and I eventually curl into Peeta's arms. He holds me close and I listen to his heartbeat. It's strong and steady, and I decide to relate that sound to hope.

"Aren't they beautiful?" He whispers.

"What?"

"The stars."

I look up, not having really thought about it. They are countless and circling together, my breath catches. I don't think I've ever really noticed stars before.

"Yeah, they are." I whisper back.

"I only can think of one thing more beautiful." He says, pulling me closer.

I stay silent for a minute, enticed by the stars. "What is that?" I whisper.

"You." He says. He says in plainly, like it's no big deal. It hits me right in the gut, but not like it used to. I used to not like it when he said stuff like that; it used to make me uncomfortable. But now, it's just a reminder that Peeta has really come back to me, that he really is here with me.

I pull my eyes from the stars and stare at his face. He is still gazing upward, his blue eyes sparkling. I lean in and kiss his cheek lightly. He looks over at me and smiles, leaning in and planting his lips on mine, my body fills with warmth and I know, once again, I won't be the first to pull away.

I don't know why, but a tear slides down my cheek and he pulls away. His breath is heavy and his closes his eyes tight before opening them.

"Why are you crying?" He says, brushing the tear off my face with his finger.

"I don't know. I'm not sad." I answer back.

He smiles and snickers, "I'm not either."

We kiss, lightly, one more time and head back to the house. I fall asleep quickly and peacefully.

I wake up the next morning with a happiness that involves Peeta. It feels just like the morning I woke up on the beach during the Quarter Quell, but this time I can just lay still and enjoy it. It isn't interrupted by hunger or pain, not even my memories.

_**THANK YOU FOR READING…hope you liked it! I **__**really**__** liked this chapter. SO SORRY how long this took me, I was on vacation. But now I'm back to school and fanfiction. Okay, so please review, because it motivates me, and means more than you will ever know. Oh and feel free to message me if you have any ideas about where this story should go! I only wish to stay true to the characters and write things that are realistic to how the story line would go, so you input would mean a lot. Thank you, you beautiful souls. **_


	18. New Life

_**I do not own The Hunger Games**_

Chapter Eighteen- New Life

_(Peeta)_

I've had the idea of coming to the meadow for a long time. My dad loved the stars, and now I understand why. They circle above me, and give me a comforting feeling. The breeze feels good against my face but Katniss feels twice as good and strong pressed against my side. She seems to be recovering; we both seem to be, slowly but surely.

"Aren't they beautiful?" I whisper.

"What?" She asks, clearing being pulled out of thoughts

"The stars."

Her breath catches, "Yeah, they are." Her eyes become fixated on the stars and I can't help but smile.

"I only can think of one thing more beautiful." I whisper pulling her closer to me so that one of her hands is on my heart.

"What is that?" She whispers

"You." I say. She turns to look at me and kisses my cheek. Her grey eyes capture me, and I can't help myself. I lean in and kiss her; I kiss her as long as I can. I'm able to enjoy it for longer than I expected. Then I have to fight they haze that sets in my head. I feel something wet hit my cheek, is Katniss crying?

I pull away and close my eyes tightly, telling myself the truth, and then open them to reveal a tear sliding down Katnisses face. I wipe it away with my finger.

"Why are you crying?" I ask softly, already feeling guilty.

"I don't know. I'm not sad." Her eyes sparkle a little.

I laugh a little, at how not sad I am at this moment. "I'm not either."

We stay a while longer, but Katniss starts to fall asleep so we return home. Katniss doesn't let go of my hand until she is wrapped in my arms drifting to sleep.

"Stay with me?" She asks lightly.

I kiss the top of her head, "Always."

The corners of her mouth twitch upward as she falls asleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The summer ends and the leaves fall off the trees. District Twelve is covered in spots of brown, red, and yellow when the bakery is up and ready for business. Ethan and his girl are settled in upstairs and all the shifts are worked out. I work over there pretty much every day, still decorating the cakes. Katniss stops in every now and then on her way to the Hob, she seems to be happy in the warm rooms filled with the smell of bread and cookies. I know I am. Somehow, it seems like my family is living on beside me. Every time a floor creaks I feel like I'll see my dad walk in or my brothers storm through on their way to school.

Greasy Sae opened up a soup shop right down the street and is doing well. Callie comes to the bakery every weekend and helps ice things, but mainly she just draws pictures. She turned six at the end of the summer, so she has just started school. My nightmares are nearly gone. Only on rare occasions to I have to stop and think. I don't even get confused when I'm tired. Life is moving on, and every day is one step farther away from the games.

Our house has four bedrooms, our room, Prim's room, Ms. Everdeen's room, and a guest bedroom. So since Katniss started wishing to see my paintings, but going into the study scared her so much; we made the guest room my painting room. We also tacked a few of the paintings up around the house. In the living room, there is the one of Prim and Katniss walking home. In the kitchen is a new painting; it displays Ms. Everdeen and Prim laughing while cutting dough into silly shapes.

Lastly, in our room is a picture of Katniss and her family hugging when we got back from the 74th Hunger Games. They all wear smiles a mile wide while tears streak their faces. Right beside it is a portrait of my father, brothers, and I outside the old bakery. It makes the room feel more comfortable, more like a home.

Xxxxxxxx

Late autumn, the trees are bear and you know that any day now the ground will be covered in snow. I walked in the door and quickly went over to the fireplace to warm my hands.

"Hey." Katniss said from the couch. She was holding a letter in her left hand and the phone in her right. "We got a letter from Annie today, and I just got off the phone with my mom."

I sit down next to her, noticing how conflicted she looks. She hands me the letter and I read it slowly.

_Dearest Katniss and Peeta, _

_Baby Finnick is doing well, and everyone here helps us. It was so nice to hear from you! I'm ever so excited your doing well and the bakery is open. However, we just moved into a rather large house right by the ocean and I was wandering if you would both like to spend the summer with us? Please send me your answer and we can arrange all the details._

_With Love,_

_Annie Cresta_

I smile a little, thinking of the ocean, and then I return my gaze to Katniss.

"Do you want to go?" She asks.

"Depends, do you want to go?"

"My mom said we should go." She says, gesturing towards the phone.

"I don't care what your mom says Katniss. Do you want to go?"

"If we didn't have to leave home or get on a train, I'd be all for it."

"But we would have to do both those things."

"I'll think about it." She says, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

We eat our diner and discuss the possibility of the trip, then head up to bed.

I turn the light off and crawl in beside, taking her into my arms. The moonlight lights the room enough to see her outline. She presses her head to my chest, "It would be nice to see Finnick." She whispers sadly.

_**All of you are, hands down, the best reviewers in the history of reviewers. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really liked this chapter and I hope you did too! Thank you for reading! **_


	19. By the Sea

_**I do not own The Hunger Games**_

Chapter Nineteen- By The Sea

_(Katniss)_

I stand on the platform of the railways, waiting for the train to come that will lead Peeta and I to District four for a whole summer. My heart pounds and my hands shake, I feel distressed and overwhelmed to leave home. The last time I left, I was sure I'd never come back.

"Why are we doing this again?" I ask Peeta.

"It's a vacation. Come one Katniss, it'll be fun." He says halfheartedly. Neither of us are looking foreword to this very much. We could stay in the small confines of 12 for the rest of our lives and be just fine with it. But this isn't about us, this is about Annie.

The train rumbles in, blowing exhaust through our hair. We hesitantly step on to the train we are all too familiar with. Plutarch insisted we have the same train that led us to the capitol when Peeta informed him about our summer adventure. He said it would make us more comfortable, but honestly it just makes me queasy and anxious.

The train starts up again and I look out at the seam for the last time, this summer. It's along time but Peeta leans next to me and fiddles with my hair, "This is different. We're coming back." He whispers.

Apparently we will reach District four early tomorrow morning, and then a car will takes us to Annie's house.

Diner is the same old capitol food that makes us slightly sick to our stomachs, so we head to bed early.

It's horrible to be back in my room on the train, so we decide to sleep in Peeta's room.

"Different." He says as we crawl in bed.

"What is?" I ask.

"Us sleeping in my room."

"Oh, yeah." My cheeks heat up, we never really talk about the fact that we always sleep together.

"It's nice." He says with a bit of a laugh.

"Just to many nightmares in that room. Long, long nightmares." I croak.

"Long nightmares that have ended." He adds.

"But I can't tell myself it was just a dream." I say.

He sighs into my hair and we slowly fall asleep, only managing the night with the each others arms.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Peeta loves the ocean, he spends most of the day searching for shells or sitting on the beach. Annie and I sit on the beach a lot of the day and I watch her do these complicated knots that eventually make a net. She does them so fast I can barely see her fingers move. I hold baby Finn in my arms so she can do her work.

"The nanny left for the summer, to visit her family. It's so nice of you all to come. So I'm not alone, and so I can work and know Finn is okay." She stuttered out the first day we arrived. It's strange; Annie seemed so much better and normal through letters. In person, you can really see why people call her mad.

Annie's house looks just like Finnick, in every way a house can look like a person. It's right on the beach, with a huge porch and high ceilings. But Annie's description of it being "large" is a bit of an exaggeration.

There is a large living room, small kitchen, and three bedrooms all crammed into one small floor. Annie has one, but she usually sleeps on the sofa. I think it's too hard for her to sleep without Finnick by her side. I would never be able to go back in my room if Peeta wasn't there. Finn has a small room, with trident wallpaper and bright blue bedding. Then there is a room Peeta and I are staying in, it's small and cozy with light blue walls.

Every morning we wake up and eat some breakfast that Annie and Peeta cook together. My job is to wake Finn up. He is small little boy, that looks so much like Finnick it hurt the first time I saw him.

Then we usually go to the beach, mainly because Peeta wants to and Annie says she does her work better there. Most of the time I go with them, but I'm not a huge fan of the beach. I just like the swimming. When I don't go Finn and I stay back at the house. I swear I'm never having kids, but Finn has made me see why people do. Peeta's eyes light up a little bit every time he see's me smile because of Finn. This trip seems to have given him more hope, I don't know what for, but he just seems more optimistic.

I don't know what this trip has done to me; I don't think it's changed me at all. I think I'm too stubborn to change anymore. I just know that I'm glad to help Annie, and I like to spend time with Finn.

_**So as you can tell, I am not done with this fanfiction. I have been busy and if you're reading this I salute you, you are quite the dedicated reader and I thank you so much. When I stop I will say it very clearly and you will know. I'm so, so sorry for it taking me so long but on top of school I got a job. (I'm a nanny! Haha, there was a nanny in this chapter.) I will update soon. I hope you liked this! PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	20. Time Goes On

_**I do not own The Hunger Games**_

Chapter Twenty- Time goes on.

_(Peeta)_

Fall came all to early, sending Katniss and I back to our home in district twelve. On the train ride Katniss admitted that she truly enjoyed our vacation. I gave me hope of returning next summer, as Annie had asked. Also meeting Fin has put a certain desire and longing in my heart, something I've never felt before. And it is also something I'm afraid to talk to Katniss about. But I push those thoughts aside thinking how we are still so young, only nineteen. We have plenty of time.

Fall comes quickly, bringing yellow and red trees, and lots of business at the bakery. My nightmares are scarce, but not extinct. I am beginning to think that they will never go away, they will always haunt me and make me unsure of myself. And unsure of Katniss.

In late winter, just before spring, I officially moved into Katnisses house. Though I pretty much had a while ago, it made me feel stupidly happy. Katniss and I didn't say anything to each other about it, but I knew it was final because I gave my house to a family that had just returned to district 12. But I really shouldn't say "district" anymore. The new government cancelled that out, now we are all just Panem. It's nice, but I'm not sure I will ever not think of the places as districts.

Katniss hunts a lot, Haymitch never puts down his glass, and I am usually at the bakery for a good part of every day. Our lives feel almost normal, as if we are on a schedule we are terrified to break. Which, I guess, is absolutely true. If the distractions are taken away, we lose it. I slip into nightmares, Haymitch screams and rips his hair from his head, and Katniss locks herself in closets.

We tend to look through our book a lot. It's not only a comfort, but also just something we use to respect and remember our losses. It's the actions of the broken survivors. Our lives are the actions of broken survivors. And that's all we seem to be doing these days. Surviving.

_**Sorry this is so short, and sorry that the wait was so long you could've died from old age. I'll try to update faster. Thanks for reading, please review! The next one will be longer, contain talking, and not just be about time passing. So sorry.**_

_**Oh god, it's so short. I'm almost embarrassed. At least its something right….? **_

_**Don't hate me…**_


	21. Winter

_**I do not own The Hunger Games**_

Chapter 21- Winter

_(Katniss)_

Winter was my favorite time of year. It was filled with the snowy woods and the warm bakery. The routine our life had fallen into was comforting. It was the perfect routine for two people damaged beyond repair.

I had taken to working in the bakery when I wasn't hunting, just as something to take up my time. I couldn't bake anything, or decorate, but I could clean and occasionally work at the counter. It was good work that made me tired and hungry. And Peeta was there, always ready to steady me, and I always ready to steady him. I fed of his presence. Though his nightmares still bothered him, he was stronger than I was. He always had been, and always would be.

"Ready to go home Katniss?"

"Yes, just let me put the broom in the closet."

I hurried and opened the small cleaning closet, placing the broom in the corner. I still had to fight the urge to crawl onto the floor and stay there for a while. The thought of Peeta's arms just at the front door was enough to make me run back to him. He put his arm around me and locked the door to the bakery and together we walked to Greasy Sae's house. Snow was caught in our hair and on our eyelashes by the time we knocked on her door.

"Hello Katniss, hello Peeta!" Greasy Sae said opening the door.

"Hello." I answered her.

"We brought you some bread." Peeta said, handing the large loaf over to her.

"Why thank you ever so much dears." Greasy said, taking the bread.

"I have some soup for you as well. Come in while I snatch it from the kitchen."

"Thank you." Peeta said as we stepped into her small living room.

"PEETA! KATNISS!" a small voice screeched.

"CALLIE!" Peeta called back with matched enthusiasm. She grabbed Peeta around the waist; he hugged Callie tightly. She hugged me next and her small body pressed against mine filled my chest with hope. It was nice to hug something so unscathed by the world.

Callie talked and talked about school and her friends and the flowers in the meadow. Greasy had to make her stop so we could leave. Peeta locked his arm back around me as we made the trek up to our house.

We ate the soup Greasy gave us and retreated upstairs. I showered and dressed in pajamas. When I walked into the bedroom, Peeta was already asleep. But it wasn't a sound sleep. His face was twisting and he was mumbling softly. I sat beside him and stroked his hair, singing softly in the dimly lit room. After an hour or so I laid beside him, pressing my folded arms into his and wrapping one of my legs over his. I watched his face calm as he sank deeper into his sleep. I fell asleep slowly to the feel of Peeta's body, and the sound of my own humming.

The next day was a hunting day. I didn't need to hunt for Peeta and I anymore, but the district was still full of starving people. I got up early, but Peeta was already downstairs making breakfast. I strode down the stairs and into the kitchen in my hunting boots and my dads jacket.

"Morning!" Peeta called out from the stove.

"Good Morning." I answered quietly.

Peeta walked over and kissed my cheek softly, and then kissed my lips even softer.

He smiled and returned to his cooking. We ate and discussed the plans for the day. I was going to hunt all morning, then go to the Hob to deliver the food, and then meet Peeta for diner at the bakery. We usually ate diner at the bakery with Ethan and his wife Susan. They were nice, and Susan was quiet. She reminded me a lot of Madge, which made me sad and happy all at the same time.

I set out to the woods after breakfast. The snow and ice crunched under my feet, and the wind nipped at my face. I had a good morning, moving quickly between the trees. When I had enough game, I walked to the lake and sat for a few minutes. Thinking about Prim, crying about Prim, and singing to Prim. Then I thought a little bit about Gale, who I still hadn't talked to. But that didn't really bother me. I missed him in the way one misses something they had once experienced. I didn't know the girl he knew me to be anymore. Therefore, I didn't really know Gale.

I thought about Finnick and Annie and their baby Finn. I thought about the summer we had spent in district four. It was fun and a little rejuvenating.

I cried and sang a little bit more and then walked back to town and dropped the game off at the Hob. I helped with some of the dishes and cleaned a few other things. After spending a good amount of time there I went to the bakery to see Ethan at the counter with quite a long line. I waved at him and went back into the kitchen. I smiled when I saw Peeta leaning over a cake. I could see the concentration in his face. I stood in the doorway quietly until he was done and noticed me.

He smiled, "Hello Katniss, how was your day?"

"Productive." I nodded. "How was yours?"

"Productive." He said.

We worked until Susan came in, she was a teacher at the school. Then the four of us closed the store and ate diner. Peeta and Ethan talked business and joked around while Susan and I shared glances and smiles while listening to them. After diner we all cleaned and got the bakery ready for the next day, then Susan and Ethan retreated to their home upstairs. Peeta and I went to Greasy Sae's to drop off bread, talk to Callie, and then retreated home with warm soup. We didn't eat the soup that night; instead we agreed to take it to the Hob the next morning.

I showered and walked into our room. Peeta laid awake and smiled when I stretched out next to him. He pressed me against his body and kissed me harder than usual. It felt hurried, like we didn't have time. But that's how it always had been with Peeta. His lips were warm and spread the familiar lightning through my body. It was one of those kisses that made me want another. He stopped to soon, closing his eyes tightly to let his nightmares passed. We fell asleep curled into each other's protective arms.

Peeta and I awoke the next morning and ate breakfast. He was going to go by the Hob and drop off the soup before work and today was the day I took care of Haymitch. I walked the short distance to his house and opened the door. The smell of alcohol hit me the second the door was ajar. I coughed and shouted, "Haymitch!"

"Sweetheart!" He answered me from the living room. I walked into see him sprawled out on the couch, a drink in hand.

'Good to see you." He moaned.

"You too." I answered, sitting down next to him.

We talked but mainly it was just Haymitch mumbling about his geese. I cleaned up and made him eat some real food. Then left him to his drinking.

I walked to the bakery and helped them clean and worked the counter for a bit to give Ethan a break.

Everyday was almost exactly like the one before. I always knew what to expect. That was what I needed, if I didn't have that steady comfort I would snap in half.

_**Yay! This was longer, right? Thanks for reading, please review! You are all fantastic!**_


	22. Sickness

_**I do not own The Hunger Games**_

Chapter 22- Sickness.

_(Peeta)_

All I wanted to do was sleep as winter slowly melted into spring. My nose was red and my forehead was hot. I skipped work at the bakery every now and then and Katniss was starting to notice. I talked to Ethan about it and he said I was tired from working so hard, but I wasn't convinced. My legs felt heavy and my head had its own heartbeat. It was becoming hard to chase my nightmares about Katniss away. I was slowly losing some of my control.

One night she screamed in my arms.

She did that a lot, but I wasn't the same this time. My eyes opened to reveal Katniss' arms curled around me. It was utterly horrifying. I shot out of bed and back against a wall. Katniss woke up and seemed paralyzed. She held her stomach like she was about to be sick.

"Peeta!" She wailed.

"Wh…What?" I stuttered in fright. "What do you want from me?" I nearly shouted.

She opened her eyes and looked at me. Her eyes were pleading. They weren't vicious or angry. They were full of….no it couldn't be, she didn't feel that way about someone like me. It was then I came back to my reality. I sank against the wall and slid to the ground. I held my head tightly until all my nightmares were gone. I looked back to Katniss who was sitting on the edge of the bed closest to me. I realized she had been singing. She stopped when I stood up.

She began to ask if I was okay but I cut her off.

"Keep singing. Please?"

She sang.

I sat next to her and she put her arms around me. We fell asleep soon after that.

The next morning we were still wrapped in each other's arms. Katniss left for the woods and I told her I was heading to the bakery. But I wasn't. I went into the living room and called Dr. Aurelius.

"Peeta, I hope you are just checking in." Dr. Aurelius answered.

"I'm afraid not."

He was silent for a minute and then, "Explain, please."

"I've been feeling….under the weather." I began. "And then last night I wasn't able to control myself."

"Did you attack Katniss?" Aurelius asked sternly.

"No, thankfully. I just ran from her." I answered.

"Well this is obviously just your sickness hampering your reactions."

A huge weight floated off my shoulders, this was fixable. I wasn't losing the little sanity I have left.

"Then what should I do." I asked.

"Call Katniss' mother. She is excellent with these things." And then the line clicked off.

I headed to work but didn't last long.

I was dizzy the whole walk there and the second I walked in the door, I passed out.

I awoke in my old living room above the bakery. It looked different, of course. But it still brought back a wave of memories that didn't help my pounding head.

I groaned and a cold hand pressed against my cheek.

"Peeta?" A voice insisted.

I saw a blurry figure of Katniss kneeling beside the couch I was on. I was startled for a second; but was able to control myself. It was harder than usual.

"Katniss." I said putting my hand on top of yours.

She smiled, but then her face became concerned again. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

"I didn't know I was."

She scowled. "Yes you did. You told Ethan and called Doctor Aurelius."

I smiled to try and ease the trouble I was in.

She pulled her hand away, "Why would you go to work and not do as Dr. Aurelius said."

"I was going to call your mom tonight." I said. "I'm sorry."

She scowled for a minute longer then, "No, I'm sorry."

"Then can I have your hand back?" I mumbled.

She laughed ever so slightly and put her hand back on my face.

Katniss called her mom that night after she half carried me back to the house.

Her mom seemed very concerned but said she would not come back to 12. I understood and told Katniss that I just needed some rest but Katniss would not drop it. She went upstairs and they argued. Katniss came back with red eyes and blotchy cheeks.

"Sorry, Mom isn't coming." She said sitting next to me and handing me a piece of paper. "This is what she said you needed." She pointed to the paper.

"It's okay. I'm fine" I put my arms around her and she buried her face in my shoulder.

"Promise?" She asked.

"Promise." I answered.

But it was a lie.

What Ms. Everdeen had prescribed was not working, and over the next few days I became worse and worse. And the higher my fever got the lower my control got.

_**Thank you for reading and please leave a review! **_

_**About some of the spelling and grammar, I'm dyslexic, so proofing takes me forever. I figured you'd want the story faster with more errors. ANYWAY, I love you all and I'm going to get working on the next chapter. Thank you all SO much!**_


	23. Prominence

**I do not own ****The Hunger Games**

_Chapter Twenty Three- Prominence _

I woke up early in the morning to a harsh banging downstairs. I dragged myself out of bed because Peeta wasn't beside me. Its strange how much harder everything was without him. It's like he's my oxygen; my main life source. Once I reached the living room I saw him. My memories convulsed into how he was when he was rescued from Snow. He was sweating immensely and his face was bright red. I couldn't stop the scream that echoed from my core. It startled him and he looked at me viciously. He smashed his fists into the wall and groaned in agony.

"Peeta?" I was able to whisper in desperate attempt to help him.

"GET OUT KATNISS!" he yelled back angrily.

I fell to the ground, trying to inch away. I did not want to leave so I hesitated on the stairs.

Then in a more anguished voice full of sorrow he said, "Please! Just go back to sleep."

He dropped to his knees and grabbed his hair fiercely. I bolted up the stairs and went straight for the closet. I curled into our coats as tears streamed down my face. _Pull yourself together_ I told myself. _You have to do something for him. He would do something for you_. But what do I do? _I need to call Dr. Aurelius. _ Except, _oh god_, the only other phone that isn't downstairs is in my Moms old room. I can't go in there. _For peeta_ I thought all the way down the hall until my hand was resting on the cold, untouched doorknob. I let the thought of Peeta's strong arms around my waist and his blonde curls falling on his forehead guide me to turn the knob. My moms smell over took me all to quickly and I fell to the ground. Unable to stand I crawled to the phone by her bed and dialed the long since memorized number.  
><em>Ring ring<em>  
>I started to hum.<br>_Ring ring_  
>Luckily my mom hadn't decorated her room with much. There was just a small quilt and a case of dead flowers. The lack of her personality made this slightly easier.<br>_Ring ring_  
>Dead flowers. Dead districts. Dead Katniss and Peeta. Dead father. Dead family.<br>I let out a miniature shriek and curled into myself on the ground  
>Dr. Aurelius answered, "Hello?"<br>I was gasping but managed to whisper, "Help" into the phone.  
>He responded quickly and said help was coming. But I knew that was a lie. Help never came with death, and that's what the room was filled with. That's what this house was filled with. Without Peeta there was only the mourning silence of all the people that have died.<br>With that the line clicked off and I was left with Peeta's sickly screams and my mom's smell.

My eyes opened in a second to reveal the familiar ceiling and lighting of my bedroom. But my body felt heavy and foreign because Peeta's familiar hold was not there. My gut clenched and I was drowned in my memory. It took me two hours to get myself downstairs where Haymitch was waiting for me. The stove was cold and the air did not smell of muffins. Without the greeting of Peeta's smile and outstretched arms I wanted to dissolve.

"Sweet heart." Haymitch said with a tone of pity. I knew something bad had happened. Tears slid down my cheeks and once again Haymitch stood up and held me. I cried into his shoulder and he told me everything that had happened.

Peeta was locked in the study. _With all my nightmares, _I thought with despair. Haymitch and a few others that had come to the rescue the night before had not been able to get him out of the house. He simply had what seemed to be the flu. Aurelius had explained that the illness had distracted Peeta from his recovery. He would be back to how he was in about six months but this was a major set back. He was not allowed to be alone with me for a few weeks. This only fueled my weeping.

Then there were days of sitting by the fireplace and having Greasy Sae make sure I was till alive. But this time my sadness was more prominent. I could feel it in my bones and it stung at my chest and eyes. This time there was nothing to do but wait. Most of the time I didn't even know what I was waiting for. All I was aware of was the fire in front of my breaking hums and me…

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings _

_Them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

That's all I really wanted these days.

My dandelion in the spring.

_**Been a while, hasn't it? If you are still reading, then I love you ever so much. Sorry for errors, it happens. Merry Christmas.**_


	24. Finally

**I do not own ****The Hunger Games**

_Chapter Twenty Four- Finally _

_(Peeta)_

In district thirteen I was chained to a metal bed. My body was consumed with hatred toward everyone around me. Doctors, friends, and Katniss slowly took away my nightmares with their love and endless efforts. But now, now I am locked in the study surrounded by my paintings. No one comes in here to talk to me; no one comes to coax me back to myself. Haymitch opens the door and puts food on the floor three times a day. My hatred is now replaced by a great fear and sadness. I fear the possibility of slipping back into my hijacked self. And I have an ache of sadness that Katniss has not tried to help me. I have been in this study for three days and I have not spoken to Katniss. If it weren't for the ability to paint her and admire her in my old paintings I would not be able to go on.

**xxxxxx**

On my third evening Haymitch slowly cracks the door and I grab his arm so he can't leave.

"What is it boy?" Haymitch asks, annoyed.

"I want to come out. Or I want to see Katniss. Please let me talk to her." I plead.

"Sorry boy. Aurelius says you must stay in here for a week. Or until your fever goes down." With that he wiggles out of my grasp and retreats.

I curl into the small couch and cry into my knees.

**xxxxxxxx**

I'm awoken by a small knock on the door. I think that its Aurelius here to check on me, considering it's midnight. But when I open the door groggily I see Katniss standing before me. At first, I figure I'm dreaming but that doesn't stop a smile from taking over my face.  
>"Peeta?" She whispers. "How are you?"<p>

Her voice is so real, her face just an arm length away. I brace myself for the pang that will come with her leaving. She always leaves in my dreams.

"I'm just happy to see you." I laugh.

With that she smiles and some tears escape her eyes as she closes the space between us and wraps her arms around me.

She feels so warm and real in my arms and her hair smells so good that I have to ask, "Katniss, is this a dream? Please tell me it's not a dream."

She looks up at me with watery eyes and kisses me. The kiss lasts for a long time and all I can think about is Katniss. Peeta and Katniss. This is where we belong. This is where I always want to be. We go back into the study and close the door, still in an embrace. She pulls away all to soon and says, "This is not a dream. This is to good to be anything I would dream."

We both laugh and fall onto the couch, kissing again. I figure that my nightmares should return anytime, that my fever would consume me. But nothing comes. All I feel is something alone the lines of bliss.

**xxxxxxxx**

The door to the study opens and a soft chuckle comes from Haymitch as he puts the breakfast on the floor and leaves. I open my eyes and see Katniss nestled next to me on the small couch. I kiss her awake. She is startled at first but then smiles and kisses me back. It's the first time I remember her being happy in the morning. It makes my heart swell to think I was able to be the cause of her happiness. She hums for a while and we just lay there. It's hard, in this moment, to remember that we've been in the games at all. It's hard to remember we have both thought it possible that we were lost from each other forever.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

When we finally make our way into the kitchen Aurelius and Haymitch are sitting at the table. I was a little nervous and afraid that they might take me away. And apparently Katniss was as well because she stepped in front of me protectively. Aurelius stood up and said, "Peeta, I know this is hard but you are going to have to come with me until we can get your fever down."

For the safety of everyone, and especially Katniss, I was about to give in and leave but Katniss yelled, "NO! You cannot take him away! He is fine, he is Peeta!"

Aurelius tried to protest but Katniss would not give in.

Finally she grabbed my hand and looked at me, deeply, like it was almost painful to say what she was about to say, "Peeta, the other night when you were down here, when you were very sick, would you have hurt me?"

I thought about it. I thought about that night. I was filled with conflicting thoughts and I was absolutely horrified that I would hurt Katniss. But that was the main thing; I was furious with myself and afraid for Katniss. But not once did I actually want to hurt her.

So I answered truthfully looking back at her, "Never."

Aurelius and Haymitch argued back and forth for a while but I couldn't concentrate because Katniss was holding me and standing by me like I was her life source. It was like she loved me in that way I always dreamed she would. I was confused on how such good moments could come out of such a bad turn of events.

After more arguing and more protests form Katniss it was decided we could go back to normal, but Aurelius would be checking in every month for a bit. They both left Katniss and I in the kitchen, but there was a feeling of peace and _love_ that settled over us as we fell onto the couch and watched some silly singing show until we drifted back to sleep.

**Thanks for reading! Please review! This story is not over yet! But it's getting there. Thanks for sticking with me even through all my errors and short chapters! Happy New Year! (P.S. It's been about year since I started this story!)**


	25. Real

**I do not own **_**The Hunger Games**_

_Chapter Twenty Five- Real _

_(Katniss)_

The years passed quickly. Peeta and I became increasingly comfortable in our own skin and with each other. Peeta and Katniss. Katniss and Peeta. It was all that there was and all that we needed. Our souls healed slowly and together forming a tight knot between us.

As we lay in bed one night, warm and wrapped together, Peeta leaned in close till our noses touched. He looked me in the eyes and the years spent full of insecurity and fear vanished. He whispered, "You love me. Real or not real?"

The question that haunted me and crept up on me all those years ago now seems so obvious. How could I have missed it? How could I have been so cold that I went a day without Peeta by my side? I felt my heart reach out for his in a way it never fully had before.

I smiled and whispered back, 'Real."

All defenses and worries melted away when he crushed my lips with his that night.

_I love you I love you I love you, my dandelion in the spring. _The phrase was better and had more healing power than any song I had ever sung.

_**Alright…that is it! So glad I'm done…You guys have been so great. Thanks for still reading! PLEASE review even though this is it. I will be taking this story down in a few months, sorry but you all have really been so wonderful. Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Bye. **_


	26. The End

Just a few things to wrap this up….

-Katniss and Peeta do have their two children within the next few years of their lives but they never get officially married. However they might have burnt each others toast every morning…."on accident."

-The whole family visits Annie and Baby Finn every summer for the rest of their lives. Katniss and Peeta's children and Baby Finn become best friends and all move to District Four after their parents pass away.

-Katniss and Peeta keep the bakery running their whole lives and make sure that everyone in 12 is fed and had somewhere to sleep at night.

-The Bakery is given to Ethan and passed down through his family for generations.

-Katniss never sees Gale again but one day, years and years after this last chapter, a mysterious note appears on her door, which read, "_Hope you are having a good life Katnip." _She held the note to her chest and ran to the woods where she whispered to the trees, "Hope you are having a good life Gale."

-Peeta's nightmares do end. When he is thrity-five he has his last false thought.

-Katniss and Peeta are never fully healed but through their love of each other and their children and the warmth and friends found at the bakery and district four they are able to be happier than they ever thought possible.

-Their children and their children's children and their children all added their stories to the book. The tradition is still going…there are hundreds of books by this point.

-Katniss and Peeta's gravestones are side by side and they read, "To our loving parents who fought for Panem, for us, and for each."

-Panem grew into a great nation with equality for all and their flag was red, white, and blue with a Mockingjay in the middle. "For our past and for our future."

-I love you readers so much! If you have made it all the way to this point with me then I shall name my firstborn child after you. You beautiful, committed person.

-Thank you and goodnight.


End file.
